This month, Patty Kikos interviews Mel who is the CEO of ADHD Australia. Mel was diagnosed with ADHD while overseas and studying for her degree. She shares what it’s like to raise her son in Australia, and how they not only have different tendencies, but very different responses to medications as well. GUEST: Melissa Webster - https://www.adhdaustralia.org.au/ SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow Patty on Instagram Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook CREDITS: Host – Patty Kikos Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc Sound Engineer – John Hresc GET IN TOUCH: Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier. You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
This month, Patty Kikos interviews Mel who is the CEO of ADHD Australia. Mel was diagnosed with ADHD while overseas and studying for her degree. She shares what it’s like to raise her son in Australia, and how they not only have different tendencies, but very different responses to medications as well.
GUEST:
Melissa Webster - https://www.adhdaustralia.org.au/
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Follow Patty on Instagram
Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram
Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook
Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook
CREDITS:
Host – Patty Kikos
Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc
Sound Engineer – John Hresc
GET IN TOUCH:
Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier.
You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au
Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Mel:
Yeah, look, I think definitely that my son is, on a day-to-day basis, he has a lot more difficulty with being able to express himself and some of the challenges that he has. As a female, maybe, and having the beauty of being able to be a little bit more socially connected maybe that's some kind of one of those areas I've been able to express myself, I've been able to talk more openly about some of those challenges.
He hasn't had that or hasn't got the necessarily ability to be able to do that in the way that I can. I also find as well, we are chalk and cheese. So we may have similar diagnosis, but we are extremely different. So I am very hyperactive, I don't sit still. I basically hear that everywhere and doing a million and one things, multitasking all the time.
Patty:
It’s one of your superpowers, right?
Mel:
It's my superpower. And my son is very different. My son finds the day-to-day challenges exhausting. He finds everything very hard. So he lacks motivation at times, because everything is really hard for him to be able to focus, really hard for him to be able to concentrate for long periods and you tend to see that he has a lot of problems with his eyes, he's rubbing his eyes a lot, he has a lot of problems with headaches, being able to concentrate on things and he has a lot more sleep than your average person because of that so the impact on him is quite significant. Well, I don't have that, I have the other side and I struggle to sleep so it's very different.
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Billy:
From the Carer Gateway at the Benevolent Society, we welcome you to, Carer Conversations with your host Patty Kikos.
The Care Gateway is the Australian Government national care hub and provides reliable services, support and advice especially for carers.
This podcast is where we share interviews with guests that have specialized knowledge to help support carers to look after their emotional, mental and physical well-being.
We are recording on Aboriginal country, on lands which were never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands and waters. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders, past and present.
Always was, always will be.
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Patty:
Good day to you, my lovely carers and listeners.
Do you know what? I have wanted to do a podcast about the topic of ADHD since we first launched Carer Conversations in September 2022.
And for those that aren't so sure, ADHD does show up in one of 3 ways, the impulsive hyperactive type or the inattentive and distractible type. But the most common is the combined type, a mix of both inattentiveness and hyperactivity.
And today, I am thrilled that we have the CEO of ADHD Australia, Melissa Webster with us today. Mel has over 20 years of experience in the community sector working alongside children, young people and adults with a disability. Mel is proudly neurodivergent and has a son with ADHD. She's the interim COO for Melbourne Support Services and she's the voluntary CEO for ADHD Australia.
Mel also sits on 2 boards as the chair of the Lab Network and is a director for Brainwave Australia. Today, she'd like to share her journey, which may resonate with those that are also neurodivergent or with their loved ones.
We are not recording this podcast together in the studio, as Mel is from Melbourne and I can't say I blame her for not wanting to fly out and grapple with the Sydney traffic.
Now, Mel, soon people are going to hear from your accent that you were born in the UK. Where are you from and what was it like when you were growing up?
Mel:
So, thank you so much for having me today. So yes, you can tell from my accent I was born in the UK. I'm from the Midlands, from Leicestershire originally. And look, I think for me, I always knew that I was a little bit different.
I'd say I always knew that I was a little bit quirky, but it wasn't until I was at university that I started to learn more about myself and particularly, wanting to explore, I think at that time, some of these things that I was finding a little bit different and somewhat, needing some support in some areas, particularly at university and school.
Patty:
So, it showed up at university with your exams more so than it ever showed up at school for you, is that right?
Mel:
I think what I would say is that I had at school many, many challenges. The difference was that as a female, I was able to mask it. So some of the challenges that faced me, you know, talking a lot is one of them.
Getting extremely excited. Sometimes, yes, I would have been doing multiple things and... you know, like lots and lots of activity, but that was something that was seen as socially acceptable within my time anyway, females within that space.
Patty:
And probably positively reinforced as well, right?
Mel:
Yeah, it was absolutely. So, when I was younger, whilst I did have those challenges and I did have challenges at school and you know, many things were going on for me, it wasn't until it started to come to getting into university that it became a time where I was really faced with big challenges. and at that time it was actually my university at the time that recommended that I look into what were some of those things that I was finding hard and really try to get some help, particularly to help me to achieve my degree at the time, because without those supports I wouldn't have been able to succeed within the way that I did.
Patty:
So, you got diagnosed and then subsequently was supported throughout university, is that what happened?
Mel:
It was, yeah. So, university for me was a really positive experience. I had a lady by the name of Fiona at Leicester University at the time. She was fantastic. She helped me at the time. I had a diagnosis ADHD, I was dyslexic, at the time, well I still am, and I had some sensory challenges. Fiona was a lady that spent some significant time with me at university, just navigating some of those things that I found hard around the university within itself. It was a massive environment, there was a lot happening.
Sometimes also as well understanding lectures, some of those things that were going on for me that previously in a smaller school environment I could manage, but as things got more challenging and the environment got a lot larger, there was a lot more demands, I found that really, really difficult. and my university at the time was fantastic around support for me around assistive technology. I had support around helping me to be able to have some one-to-one support.
I had support with exams. I had a lot of help which made my life a lot easier. And I had this beauty where I could talk through anything, but I struggled to be able to sometimes process information if it was before me. So, I had this opportunity to be able to talk through some of my exams and to be able to then have audio equipment to support that written part of it.
Patty:
That's wonderful that they supplied that for you. Did you also find that you were challenged and overstimulated because of how much larger your university was compared to your school?
Mel:
Yes, I did. So for me, it was around, I think when you're at school and you've grown up with the same children for a long period of time, whilst you do have some little differences, what I would say is if you're in a small school anyway, the environment's pretty much the same.
You tend to have the same friends, so people don't really know anything any different. It's just, this is just Mel. This is just who she is. She's just... you know, always been this way. When you go into this really big environment and there's lots of different people like a university is, it challenges you in many, many different ways.
One, the environment, socially, you know, all of a sudden you start to realise that some of your... Little things that maybe people just always knew as you, interrupting, getting excited, lots of different conversations. I'd have one conversation and then just move on to another without even realizing I'm doing it.
Some of those things that I did became more obvious to me as my world got bigger and I was becoming more challenged.
Patty:
Your role as the CEO in ADHD Australia is as a voluntary capacity. How do you find the time to do this as a single mom who also has another job?
Mel:
Yeah, oh look, one of my super strengths, as I call it, within my space of my world is actually having a true love for what I do in the workspace. I am extremely good at multitasking and being able to have a hyper focus on particular areas. Mine just happens to be my work and my love basically for making a difference to... the communities that I'm in, but also as well, part of the neurodiverse community and for people with disabilities as a whole.
So, I believe that is a super strength of mine and I've always had multiple things on the go, which I have always enjoyed. I did for a period of time try to, a bit of advice, and stopped some of that and actually it didn't work. I actually really enjoy this space and it works very well for me.
Patty:
You've shared that you were diagnosed when you were studying for your Master's and among other things, you were finding it difficult to concentrate and that diagnosis really changed your life at 19 or 20. Were you actually offered any medication and how did you respond to it if you were?
Mel:
Yeah, so I was offered medication, and I did try medication for some time. Medication didn't suit me. What I would say is, is I also have a boy also with ADHD now. And, you know, for him, basically he tried medication and medication was, you know, had a difference to him, which was more of a positive experience for him.
For me, I found that medication for me slowed me down and whilst the purpose is to slow people down and to change some thinking, for me that was too different. I didn't like the feeling of that, I didn't like that experience. That doesn't mean, and I do know many, many people that have huge positive experiences of medication, but for me it was really around implementing strategies that worked and I have lots of strategies that worked for me that I could... use and continue to use without the use of medication.
Patty:
And you emigrated to Australia when your children were young and you have said that you always had a sense that your son had ADHD even though many people tried to tell you that he didn't or he doesn't and it turns out that indeed he does and even though he's now 14, He was diagnosed some years ago and among other things, you have found that the support you have here in Australia is quite different to the supports that were available in your native UK, is that right?
Mel:
Yes, that's correct. So, one of the things that I found that when I had my diagnosis that the education system was really supportive for me. I had a lot of support for a particular one-to-one. I had lots of assistive technology support. I had individual assessments that were able to just learn about me and understand me to be able to help me across different educational environments. and also, as well from a work perspective in the work, a lot more support around people being, I suppose, more receptible to understanding some of those differences.
Obviously, everybody is so unique, and everybody is so different and understanding and spending time to get to know me and what that specifically looks like to bring out my strengths, I found in the UK that I had that.
I feel over here that from my son's experience, definitely, within the education system, that he has had and continues to have many challenges. Initially, it was navigating to be able to get an assessment.
So, I found it really difficult for him to be able to get an assessment. I was extremely fortunate at the time that I could afford to actually go and have different assessments for him, and he basically had a huge amount of referrals, we had big waiting list times, and then eventually when he had his diagnosis of ADHD, but also has some other challenges as well, learning challenges.
And at that time, I reached out to the school and having the support for a school is... It was really limited. It continues to be very limited, not necessarily understanding ADHD, but also what ADHD means to my son and how some supports could help. So, I find as a parent that definitely my experience is, is that you're having to navigate all of that yourself. So not only with work, having my own children
Patty:
With advocating as well, you mean?
Mel:
Yes, and advocating and you're pushing everything through and it's really quite difficult at times.
Patty:
Yeah, I can imagine because your diagnosis occurred over 20 years ago and your son's was more recent and not only is he a different gender to you, but one might argue that he lives in an entirely different world that is very technology focused and affected. What were or what are the main differences between you both and how do you navigate them because you also have to advocate for him.
Mel:
Yeah, look, I think definitely that my son is, on a day-to-day basis, he has a lot more difficulty with being able to express himself and some of the challenges that he has. As a female, maybe, and having the beauty of being able to be a little bit more socially connected maybe that's some kind of one of those areas I've been able to express myself, I've been able to talk more openly about some of those challenges.
He hasn't had that or hasn't got the necessarily ability to be able to do that in the way that I can. I also find as well; we are chalk and cheese. So, we may have similar diagnosis, but we are extremely different. So, I am very hyperactive, I don't sit still. I basically hear that everywhere and doing a million and one things, multitasking all the time.
Patty:
It’s one of your superpowers, right?
Mel:
It's my superpower. And my son is very different. My son finds the day-to-day challenges exhausting. He finds everything very hard. So he lacks motivation at times, because everything is really hard for him to be able to focus, really hard for him to be able to concentrate for long periods and you tend to see that he has a lot of problems with his eyes, he's rubbing his eyes a lot, he has a lot of problems with headaches, being able to concentrate on things and he has a lot more sleep than your average person because of that so the impact on him is quite significant. Where, I don't have that, I have the other side and I struggle to sleep so it's very different.
Patty:
Yeah, yeah. I know you've mentioned that your son has supportive friends, as well as an incredible older sister who advocates for him and helps you care for him. In fact, she's not just an older sister, she's also a young carer who's helped look after him while you were working. How do you think this experience has shaped her life?
Mel:
Look, I think in 2 ways. I think one, as she's been able to learn a little bit more about my son and her brother, should I say, her brother and his individual needs, it's helped her to be able to appreciate diversity. I think it's been able to help her to understand some of those kinds of things that she can help with. And she's very caring, not just for... her brother, but also the wider friendship group that she has and people. She's really passionate in that space.
I also do know as well from another perspective, particularly very early on, so some of the challenges I found around, you know, with my memory and short memory, you know, things like, you know, tending to appointments and things like that. What I would say is, is that sometimes there was a reliance on her and you know, as a parent, you obviously feel very guilty for that too.
Patty:
That's understandable.
Mel:
I think that there's a bit of a both in the sense that I think that now she's a bit older. Those beautiful learnings and we joke about things together and we're able to be on this journey together. I think as a younger child, it can be a bit as a younger carer frustrating, I'd say, at times. I think she sometimes felt very annoyed at times with her brother and maybe annoyed with me as mum too.
But as we've been able to go through this and we're in a different space and we've been able to navigate this, I think it's very different now.
I like to think so and she tells me so, so that's good. But definitely I think that what I would say is, being a young carer, it obviously has many strains also as well on children that we're all aware of as mums. and trying to navigate that. But I also think that she also liked that at times. She would place that on herself, even when I didn't want her to.
Patty:
That’s interesting
She used to take on what I say, you're not the mum, you're the sister, you can play, you don't need to think. So, I think sometimes it's a natural reaction, I think, sometimes she definitely played that role.
Patty:
Yeah. As her mom, were you also conscious of ensuring that she had as much attention from you as her brother? Because obviously he took up a lot more space because he needed a lot more space and energy from you, didn't he?
Mel:
He did. And look, if I'm really honest about that, I needed reminding to that. So, I think as a parent in the early days, I got lost in that journey a bit, I would say. And, you know, I have a really great support network around me, and they would remind me of spending quality time.
So, I actually did focus and still do focus on evenings where I'll go out with my daughter, which is just me and her time. And I'll have separate time, which is as a family and I'll have separate time, which is my son. So, I actually had to set that up purposefully to be able to help me to navigate that. It wasn't something that was a natural thing that I always had.
Patty:
So, you scheduled it?
Mel:
Yes, I did.
And scheduling for me and for my family life is very important. If it's not scheduled, it doesn't happen. And even when it's scheduled, sometimes we forget. So, we have to have reminders on our phone.
Patty:
Yep, that's understandable even for the neurotypical community, I think.
Mel:
Yeah.
Patty:
What advice would you give to carers or parents even when they're struggling to get a diagnosis for not just their child or their loved one, but for themselves?
Mel:
I think the importance is around, it's about the journey of, you know, keep on trying, you will eventually get the diagnosis. My personal experience of not just myself, but my loved ones and people I know also as well have had diagnosis have really benefited from that.
I definitely do feel that be part of a few waiting lists. And the reason I say that is because you know, sometimes by just being on 1 waitlist, that can take a very, very long time, where if you actually reach out and you may be part of a few waitlists, then it gives you more opportunity to be able to obviously have that call a lot sooner, which I think is really important.
I'd also say as well is, is that there's some great websites that, you know, offer experience, ADHD Australia is one and there's ADHD Support Group. There's a huge amount of different organisations too that will help to be able to navigate some of those places that people can you know reach out and get to get a diagnosis.
And I do definitely recommend it. I say get information but not too much because also sometimes too much is overwhelming so it's no when to stop as well but you know that key around, you know, not just sitting with one and keep on pushing on.
Patty:
That's actually really great advice. So be on several waiting lists, get your information. And it sounds like having a great support network of people that have actually already traversed the journey is really, really helpful for our carers.
Mel:
Yeah, absolutely. And look, being part of support networks where individuals have experienced the process of diagnosis and being able to connect with more family members that have experienced this, whether that be for a child, it's sometimes harder as an adult to get a diagnosis. So being able to connect with adults that also have had diagnosis too and where are the places to go, I definitely do feel that. having that support network around you of people that have experienced that is absolutely critical and being able to reach out to those organisations like ADHD Australia that will be able to support to help to navigate some of that.
Patty:
Yeah, that's a really good point. I often use the analogy of when you're a new parent, and you have many friends that aren't new parents, and they might dispense advice that's very well intentioned and very well meaning, but it's not necessarily helpful. So, your community is always key, isn't it?
Mel:
Yeah, absolutely. And look, I definitely think as well to give different examples. I know that sometimes that journey of not feeling alone is really, really important. Having the people there just to say, “you know, gosh, you know, I'm having a really bad day, you know, the next one said, or I’m feeling a bit sad”, you know, it's actually really nice for a family member to turn around or, you know, somebody that's been part of that journey to turn around and say, “yeah, I had that, and this is what I did, and this is the resources I had, etc”.
I, you know, I've been a professional in this field for over 20 odd years. And what I would say is, is that as soon as you become a parent or as soon as you become somebody that has, you know, real emotional connection, it's very different. Your journey is very different to just offering advice. So, I think that, you know, also, if you're a professional, accepting that, you know, it's okay to be a parent and let your guard down occasionally and just open up about some of the challenges you're faced with as well.
Because I do know from my experience, but also lots of colleagues that are professionals as well in the health space and social care space, it sometimes feels harder to open up because you've always been the one that's been providing the advice.
Patty:
Definitely. Oh, you've got great advice. You know, I know you've said that the meltdowns have decreased since your son was little. What would you say was the main reason for his meltdowns when he was younger?
Mel:
Yeah, look, it's interesting because he was having a lot of meltdowns. Initially, I think it was frustration. There was a lot of pressures that were happening at school, from a schoolwork perspective.
He really didn't have an understanding around the activities that were asked of him. He used to just say that he would have real difficulty being able to. to understand. He would try so hard to maintain concentration. And I remember him saying to me, “but mom, I try so hard, but I can't help it. Something just happens where my mind is going elsewhere”. And he used to get really upset with that.
He also used to find it really frustrating when, I think, you know, for him, some of it was about some labels on ADHD. So, when he eventually got that courage to be able to say that he had ADHD. He sometimes had some negative feedback from some, you know, individuals, not necessarily peers, but some older individuals that didn't maybe believe his diagnosis was what it was, or his challenges were the way that it was.
And because he also has some learning difficulties too, it seemed to be that was the focus, not necessarily the ADHD, where he would tell you, that it was his ADHD that used to impact him more, because he couldn’t concentrate.
And he still has those big challenges. And it's interesting, what I would say is, is that he had some quite big meltdowns. I think they stopped a little bit when we started to put in some, what I see is those kinds of proactive strategies. So, I helped him with some of those proactive strategies around just, you know, taking short breaks, being able to ask when you need to leave the class.
Being able to, you know, have a better structured. classroom environment, so some of that would look like he'd sit at the back, so he wasn't so obviously, you know, needing to take those breaks or if he needed to get up, all of those things. So, some of those strategies really, really worked for him.
Also from a parent perspective, we had a rule that we weren’t going to do homework straight away. So, there were some things with homework, and we structured our homework time in a more fun way that was a little bit better for him at the time.
Patty:
So, you had circuit breakers as well so that it wouldn't just seem like work for him?
Mel:
Yeah, we did. Yeah. And we had, at the time I had, again, I was quite fortunate that I had a lady, I employed a lady to help me with some homework for him and her name was Liz and she was the most amazing lady and she would come and play games in an educational way when he was a bit younger and that really worked.
And he said, he says to me that she understood him and the reason she understood him was because she did “learning” in a different way. And in a different way for him was through play. And even when he was older, even now he's 14, he does his learning through a different way.
And that way basically isn't to sit down and to kind of, you know, teach in the normal way. He does it very much still through play and it's all through fun experience and that works better for him.
Patty:
Yeah, the Steiner School of educating is very similar to that, isn't it?
Mel:
Yeah, it, a hundred per cent.
Patty:
For those of us that are considered neurotypical versus neurodivergent, there are everyday tasks that we consider to be easy and even simple, yet for many, they're actually overwhelming and require too many steps. What advice can you give to carers who are caring for a loved one that might have ADHD struggling with tasks that society deems simple or easy?
Mel:
I think some of the things is to, it's first of all, it's not to underestimate the challenges of some of those tasks. So, I'll give you some examples around time management.
For me, time management is very, very difficult. And I have a very clear structured schedule. And I'm quite able now to talk about my challenges with time management and in my workspace. I've got a fantastic lady that reminds me of time and helps me to get out meetings and things like that.
In my personal space, I have my phone and my alarm and things go on for me. If I don't have that, it doesn't matter how important that meeting is, or even in terms of, you know, something that is quite critical, you know, attending my children's, you know, school appointment or whatever. For me, I would sometimes forget that. So, for carers, what I would say is really to not underestimate the strategies that are in place that do work.
Sometimes when people try to remove strategies, your life just isn't the same. It really does, if they work, they work. I'd also say as well around the importance around, you know, getting to know, you know, how your loved one works, really spending that time listening, active listening and engaging.
Like I said before, my experience is very different to my son's experience. And just because I read material on a website, doesn't mean that it would work for my son. And I learned that quite quickly or just because I'd experienced it. So, we had to go through trial and error, and we did trial and error for a long period of time.
And then once we'd got some strategies that worked, we, we continued with those, and we shared those with people. And what I have learned as well is, is that as time goes on, and they get older, the strategies need to change.
So being open to change as well and working through those strategies, obviously, in a different way as age creeps in and things need to look differently. And I think the other thing as well from a carer's perspective is, whatever is implemented is trying to always think about how you can have that as discreet as possible.
So, for my son, it was really important for him. not to, I'm going to say to look different. So, you know, having those things that are very, very subtle, so people don't see them within the classroom or school, that was really important for my son. So, it's just appreciating that sometimes that's really, really important.
And even though that some people are happy to share their journey, other people are not. My son sometimes will, and other times won't.
Patty:
Yeah, because we don't really want negative attention, do we?
Mel:
No.. No.
Patty:
We want to get positive reinforcement. You've got some thoughts about people that have had early diagnosis versus people that have had late diagnosis. Can you share them with us?
Mel:
Yeah, look, I am always a very big educator of early diagnosis where possible. I think that the sooner you have the diagnosis, the sooner you're able to understand your own individual unique self. Your family, your loved ones can understand your own unique self. And for those individuals to be able to be in a space and to get the right support they need, whether that be allied health support or whether that be, you know, education support or whatever that looks like.
So, I do know that where early intervention is put into place, that obviously has big benefits. But what I would say is also, and me being a late bloomer, I call it, in terms of my diagnosis, just because I was a little bit late, it doesn't mean that it wasn't important.
In my space, I had been able to, I suppose, navigate some of the challenges at that time. But... Definitely having a diagnosis made a big difference. And that was a bit later than people, but it's still beneficial for me.
Patty:
I love that you call yourself a late bloomer because one of my friends got diagnosed at 50 and you were 20. So I can only imagine what she had to navigate.
Mel:
Yeah, look, and I definitely I think there's one of the things I experience as well sometimes is the generation differences. So, you know, and what I mean by that is, is that if you haven't necessarily had a diagnosis till later, and, you know, being able to disclose when you kind of for many, many years have not had a diagnosis, and you're going into work, and being able to share that journey, that can be really challenging.
I think lots of people I know have had that difficulty around do they disclose, if they do, what does that look like, who do they disclose to. Whereas when you're a child the disclosure is pretty much made for you in the fact that you're at school and it's, you know, the education system all the teachers know, where when you're an adult you have that choice I suppose around disclosure, at least to your employers and to kind of key friends from a child perspective, yes from a friend's perspective, but your educators and your support networks are all aware of it. So that is a big difference.
Patty:
Yeah, I like that you talked about the generational difference because I hear so many people say, “oh, there was no ADHD back in my day!” and there's a granddad that loves to hoover incessantly every day, or there's, there's always something and you think,
Mel:
Yeah.
Patty:
Well, maybe it was called something different and maybe it wasn't as socially accepted, but it always did exist. It's definitely not a new thing.
Mel:
Yeah, look, it's interesting, my dad now, you know, reaching his eighties, you know, I kind of have a bit of a joke with him because he's always of the opinion that, you know, he's at that age where, you know, you know, why would you get a diagnosis in his view?
I obviously try and advocate for why I feel so much and so passionate about the difference it made to my life and obviously my son's life and people that I know. But look, he hoovers constantly, he's still got a job, he doesn't need a job, he's on the go constantly, and for him, I think, hmm maybe.
So, who knows, but had it been different timing, maybe he would have explored things a bit differently.
Patty:
Possibly. And for those of us that are too young to know what a “hoover” is, think of it like a vacuum cleaner or
Mel:
Correct, yes. Yes,
Patty:
a Dyson.
Mel:
A Dyson, yes.
Patty:
You're so lovely. Thank you for being so generous with your story. It really means a lot to us and to our community.
Mel:
Thank you.
Patty:
So, there are many resources that can be of assistance when one is currently navigating an ADHD journey and ADHD Australia is one of them. It's www.adhdaustralia.org.au. We've got that link in the show notes.
Their vision is to make Australia a better place for people living with ADHD. And their mission is to create systemic positive change for people living with ADHD through discovery, translation and advocacy.
If someone you know would find this information helpful, please don't hesitate to forward them this interview. And if you also found it insightful, we'd love it if you could subscribe and give us a 5-star rating.
Our aim at Carer Conversations is to share as much information and inspiration as possible with our carers. But we're also here to hold the space for the difficult conversations that might sometimes be hard for you to initiate.
I'm sending you lots of love and strength until the next time we're together, be well.
Billy:
If you are caring for a relative or a friend who has a disability, a mental health condition, a life limiting health or medical condition.
Or they are frail because they're getting older. Please contact us at Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737, or look us up on www.carergateway.gov.au
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