Patty Kikos chats with Trish Mitchell who shares her experiences as a former dancer and her passion for coaching. Trish cared for her father after her mother passed and helps to unpack what coaching is at The Carer Gateway and how it differs to life, sports or business coaching. GUEST: Trish Mitchell - https://www.carergateway.gov.au/ Jack’s Counselling interview https://shorturl.at/bBQ27 SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow Patty on Instagram Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook CREDITS: Host – Patty Kikos Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc Sound Engineer – John Hresc GET IN TOUCH: Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier. You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Patty Kikos chats with Trish Mitchell who shares her experiences as a former dancer and her passion for coaching. Trish cared for her father after her mother passed and helps to unpack what coaching is at The Carer Gateway and how it differs to life, sports or business coaching.
GUEST:
Trish Mitchell - https://www.carergateway.gov.au/
Jack’s Counselling interview https://shorturl.at/bBQ27
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Follow Patty on Instagram
Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram
Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook
Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook
CREDITS:
Host – Patty Kikos
Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc
Sound Engineer – John Hresc
GET IN TOUCH:
Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier.
You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au
Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Trish:
So, do you ever feel like there's a goal you want to attain, but you can't quite achieve it? It might be because there isn't enough time, and as carers we so we are so invested in caring for others that we forget about our own goals and aspirations.
Traditionally coaching has been associated with sports and there's some elements of sports coaching that are the same, but the coaching I'm speaking about today is more about helping you to create change to improve your life. So when wanting to achieve a goal, whether that's decluttering time management or healthy habits, that's where coaching can help you.
Patty
Yeah, it's probably about having that space to look at where you're at.
Trish
Mmm. Andwhere you want to be, and then taking the steps to bridge that gap so you can attain your goal with the support and guidance of a coach.
So, coaching puts you in the driver's seat and empowers you to act to attain your goals.
Patty
And so, for the coaching that you do at Carer Gateway, is it different or is it similar to life coaching?
Trish
It’s definitely different and not like life coaching at all.
----
Billy:
From the Carer Gateway at the Benevolent Society, we welcome you to, Carer Conversations with your host Patty Kikos.
The Care Gateway is the Australian Government national care hub and provides reliable services, support and advice especially for carers.
This podcast is where we share interviews with guests that have specialized knowledge to help support carers to look after their emotional, mental and physical well-being.
We are recording on Aboriginal country, on lands which were never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands and waters. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders, past and present.
Always was, always will be.
---
Patty
Welcome welcome my lovely carers, how are you? It’s great to be in your ears again because my popular demand, we will be discussing the benefits of the coaching services that Carer Gateway offers.
I’ll be interviewing Trish Mitchell who will answer all your questions such as whether this is similar to life coaching, whether you get homework, or if you can have a session on the phone, as opposed to having to go in for a face to face appointment.
Trish has a world of experience that brought her to her current coaching role, from being a mum to 2 beautiful young women, and experiencing varied career opportunities. She believes in the power of self-development and uses a variety of techniques and strategies to help individuals navigate life challenges and create sustainable positive change.
I really want you to meet her, because she has such a passion for empowering people, and helping them find their own unique way to thrive. From her world view – the better we can show up for ourselves, the better we can show up for others, as ultimately, we are here to serve. And we cannot do that if we aren’t being ourselves, can we Trish?
Trish
We certainly can't.
Patty
Welcome. And it's me asking you the questions as you're in the hot spot. How does it feel?
Trish
It feels good. I feels really good to be here actually.
Patty
You are safe in my custody now I know the answer to some of these questions, but I'm sure our listeners are itching to find out as well, tell us where you were born cause by looking at you, you can't tell.
Trish
Well, I was born on an island called Mauritius near Madagascar.
Patty
Ohh. And what do they speak there?
Trish
They speak Creole.
Patty
Isn't that the same thing that they speak in Haiti?
Trish
Yes. And in New Orleans. There are many different dialects. It was my first language, and I didn't speak a word of English when we migrated to Australia with my 7 siblings. We moved to a town in north of WA and we were one of the only ethnic families in the area.
Patty
So you added some tanned colour to WA at the time.
Trish
Yeah, a little bit of spice.
Patty
So, you've got 7 siblings.
Trish
Actually, it was 11, my eldest brother tragically passed away at 5 in Mauritius, and this had a huge impact to my parents.
Patty
Oh, my goodness.
Trish
Yeah!, They had a lot of grief and trauma, there was a sense where if any of us were unwell, it was almost like PTSD for them.
Patty
I bet they were hyper vigilant when you were sick.
Trish
They were. Yeah. Yeah.
Patty
What did you do when you finished school?
Trish
I decided to travel and went off to England. And my sister joined me. We travelled around Europe, and I stayed for a little longer before returning back to Australia.
Patty
What was that experience like for you? Ohhh how delicious.
Trish
Yeah, it was amazing to be so close to other bordering countries.
Patty
Australia's like the knees of the world, like the back of the knees even. Isn't it? It's nice to be around the more interesting places where you don't need to travel for 18 hours to get to a different country.
Trish
Yeah. And to experience a different culture. It's beautiful.
Patty
Yeah. And what was next for you?
Trish
Dancing was my first love and passion. I was such a shy child and the way of expressing myself was getting into my body. So, the minute I performed, and I was on stage, all those inhibitions and self-consciousness faded. But I was shy off stage.
Patty
Really?
Trish
Yeah, really.
Patty
Would you still describe yourself as being shy?
Trish
There are elements of that still in me, I think. Yeah, definitely, yeah.
Patty
You mentioned dance. What kind of dance?
Trish
I did a bit of ballet, a bit of jazz, a bit of tap, and then I studied a community leadership course in dance.
Patty
So, you went into a completely different archetypal identity from the youngest child to the performer, to being shy and then being a leader. I mean, did you enjoy teaching people to dance?
Trish
I loved it. Yeah, I really enjoy connecting with people and seeing them transform and become who they already are and more.
Patty
So, this was kind of the beginning of your coaching experience.
Trish
It certainly was, yeah. It's a bit of a long story, but in a nutshell, I went travelling with my sister after school and one of the places we visited in France was Lourdes, as my dad had requested we bring back some holy water.
Patty
Was this? Like a healing pilgrimage of sorts.
Trish
Yes, exactly. Yeah, it was. And while I was there, I was in church praying and pondering and was reflecting on how wonderful my life was and how lucky I was. But why wasn't I happy?
Patty
You reflected on this at 18 or 19? Most people do that when they're 30 or 40, but this is profound.
Trish
It was very profound. I didn't think much of it at the time, but a little while later I was in hospital, and I could see myself and my body lying there as though I was above, and the same question came to mind.
And a voice said, do you want to stay, or do you want to go? Yeah, I had a sense that there was something I wanted to address within myself, and I had a vision of Christ Consciousness and I needed to address my relationship with myself, to be my own best friend.
At 19, I couldn't really comprehend it.
Patty
I can only imagine that that was a lot to process and even embody at such a young age.
Trish
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It was. There was so much so much that I had to unpack there that I wasn't in the space or at the age to be able to comprehend. But looking back, that was a turning point to look at things from a different perspective from how I speak to myself, how I'm being in the world and really connecting to my higher self
So, when you asked me that question about what led me to coaching, I guess I want to help people connect to their inner power. For me to have compassion and for them to know they are whole, and they are completely loved and valid.
Patty
We could almost stop the podcast here, but I already have a myriad of questions to ask you because that is a powerful intention in a nutshell. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's so wholehearted. I mean, how did you then become qualified to coach?
Trish
My journey has been in working in community services for some time. Originally as a case manager, as a tenant advocate, supporting people in rental situations for a community legal centre.
Patty
Was this like public housing?
Trish
It was, yes, it was part of it was public housing and community Housing. From there, I transitioned from case management to team leader and then into a leadership role for a specialist homelessness service.
And through that journey and in leadership with staff who I would mentor, counsel or coach, which was part of what I found most inspiring, what really touched me on so many levels is when I'd see people overcome challenges and be their best selves, whether from a client or a staff member.
Patty
So again, it sounds like you've got this natural instinct to be a coach. And you could easily have become a boisterous person that was very loud mouthed and constantly interrupted people being the youngest child of the family. But it sounds like you became a good listener instead.
Trish
Yeah. It could have gone either way. And in my last role it was taxing and not sustainable as I was hitting burnout, I made the decision that I needed to step out of that role and really take the time to see what was next, but also stay connected to the parts of the role that I really loved.
Patty
Hmm. Yeah, that's important for our listeners to hear, because sometimes we outgrow versions of ourselves, or sometimes we outgrow things that we used to love, such as a place of employment or a friend connection where we don't want to dispose of the whole thing completely.
We want to take elements that are positive but move it on to something that's going to be more sustainable that matches that different aspect of ourselves.
Trish
Absolutely. You don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water.
Patty
I love that expression.
Trish
So, through that, I investigated different coaching schools and incidentally, I have a friend who is a counsellor, and her husband is a coach, so serendipity occurred while I was making this decision, as they were staying with us, and I was able to explore that question with them.
It became obvious the coaching was my next chapter and then I found the school I'm now studying coaching in.
Coaching is an ongoing process. The path is not about, “I've got the certificate, so I'm done”, it's about continuing to learn and to self-improve in your own development.
Patty
Exactly, especially when new concepts come out that you can really utilise to help your clients. I mean, I know you're really passionate about supporting carers, that's a pretty specific target market. How did that come about?
Trish
Well, I was a carer for my father before he passed away. He very quickly declined after my mum passed. He had always been a very able and capable, so it was interesting to see how he had deteriorated and wasn't taking care of himself. He wasn't eating well and even though he was fiercely independent.
So, when I asked him if he thought it was time for him to come and live with me, he initially resisted, and it took him a long time to embrace that change.
Patty
So, from when you wanted him to come live with you, he decided that it was time was a long process. Was it a year?
Trish
It would have been a year for him to come to that realisation. Yeah.
Patty
But that's also important. Because he needs to feel empowered, and he needs to have the agency to make that decision.
Trish
Absolutely. He needs to be part of that decision
Patty
Sometimes we're carers without specifically being carers, we're carers in waiting, aren't we?
Trish
Yes, absolutely.
Patty
If any listener was wondering what coaching is, how would you describe it to them?
Trish
I'd respond with a question actually.
So, do you ever feel like there's a goal you want to attain, but you can't quite achieve it? It might be because there isn't enough time, and as carers we so we are so invested in caring for others that we forget about our own goals and aspirations.
Traditionally coaching has been associated with sports and there's some elements of sports coaching that are the same, but the coaching I'm speaking about today is more about helping you to create change to improve your life. So when wanting to achieve a goal, whether that's decluttering time management or healthy habits, that's where coaching can help you.
Patty
Yeah, it's probably about having that space to look at where you're at.
Trish
Mmm. Andwhere you want to be, and then taking the steps to bridge that gap so you can attain your goal with the support and guidance of a coach.
So, coaching puts you in the driver's seat and empowers you to act to attain your goals.
Patty
And so, for the coaching that you do at Carer Gateway, is it different or is it similar to life coaching?
Trish
It’s definitely different and not like life coaching at all.
Patty
Let's unpack that a little bit.
Trish
One of the key things is that we offer six sessions a year and it's centred around supporting you to thrive in your caring role. Often people see coaching as professional business coaching. Or maybe sports coaching, as I've previously mentioned. Life coaching can be harsh with a lot of responsibility left to the client, which can be a challenge in the caring role when you already have so many responsibilities.
Patty
Trish, what if a carer was so sick of chatting about their caring role or the care recipients? Because so many conversations with doctors or specialists centre around their loved one and they wanted help with the relationship or maybe a new job. Could they still get coaching at Carer Gateway?
Trish
Absolutely.
Patty
OK, yeah.
Trish
If you came to us wanting to get back to the workforce or wanting to redefine a relationship that needed some boundaries or a new perspective, we would absolutely love to help. That's the thing about the caring role.
It's not the only job our carers have, and we want to support them to thrive in all aspects of their life that they want help with. With Carer Gateway coaching, there's a little bit more meeting people where they're at and having more grace for the complexity of the caring role.
Patty
And I mean, how are the coaching sessions at Carer Gateway structured?
Trish
So, there's 6 coaching sessions and each is an hour long.
Patty
Can each session be as long as you want it to be? So, can it be monthly sessions? Can it be fortnightly? Can it be weekly?
Trish
Yes, you can adjust it depending on what you need, not so much weekly.
Patty
You don't recommend it?
Trish
I don't recommend weekly sessions as this doesn’t always give you enough time to create and implement the goals that you want to achieve.
Patty
Unless you already have that type A, very driven personality with a very specific goal.
Trish
Yes. If you're very driven, then maybe yeah.
Patty
But it's hard. Even if you are driven, it's hard to manage that with your caring role because there's such an unpredictable nature and element to it.
Trish
Absolutely.
Patty
Yeah. So how do we start?
Trish
So, before we even begin the 1st session, we have what I like to call Session 0.
This is where I call you. We have a chat, and we get to know each other a little bit. It's very important as I tell you what coaching is and what coaching isn't.
So, you tell me what your expectations are, what you'd like to work on, and then we book the type of sessions you'd like as you have the option to have a face-to-face session, a phone or a video consultation.
Patty
And if I don't know how long I want in between coaching sessions, can we also book them as we go along?
Trish
Absolutely. Usually, coaches will have a bit of a check in at the end of the session and just see how you're tracking for the next session.
Patty
OK. And then? So, if there are 6 sessions, is it a one size fits all kind of thing?
Trish
No, not at all. Some of my clients will be reluctant to have coaching sessions, especially if they haven't had good coaching experience before. And I always like to unpack what has worked for them in the past and what has not worked.
In some cases, coaching might not be for you because you are great at meeting your goals and don't need to nut out the finer details with somebody else.
Patty
So, if they have come to you and they've expressed that they haven't had the best experience with coaching, you would dress the elephant in the room immediately.
Trish
Yes, exactly. Absolutely. And in those instances, we take it slow.
Patty
Yeah. And I guess you would find out what worked, what didn't work.
Trish
Yeah.
Patty
Yeah, I think that's important as well. I imagine that in other cases, clients have never had coaching before, so they wouldn't necessarily know what to expect.
Trish
Yes, in some cases people have a list of goals that they need help with, and it's not uncommon for them to get to the second or third session and say. I thought decluttering my home was a priority, but something bigger has come up for me.
Patty
So what you're saying is it's OK to change a goal?
Trish
Yes. Life can throw us some curveballs sometimes.
Patty
Hmm. And I think sometimes we set goals that we are ambitious about and then we realise actually that's maybe a long-term goal. Maybe I need to set some short-term goals or sometimes we'll think. Yeah, I need to declutter my home and then realise that's just a distraction. I don't need to declutter.
Trish
Yeah. Yes.
Patty
I just don't want to talk about what the real issue is.
Trish
Yeah.
Patty
Yeah, I bet that happens a lot. Earlier you mentioned that coaching is like building a bridge from where you are to where you want to be, and I can only imagine that the idea of this is overwhelming to some people because there could be a lot of steps in the big bridge.
Sometimes you need a little sidewalk, sometimes you need to just sort of stay and process where you're at. How do you navigate something like that in terms of the steps that people are ready to take and knowing when it's appropriate to give a gentle push or knowing when it's more appropriate to put a stronger action plan together?
Trish
Yeah, it...It's really about identifying the goal and then we take even more time to put an action plan together as it needs to be something you can feel good about and have a positive connection towards it. Otherwise, it won't get done.
Patty
You've gotta own those steps. You've gotta want to do it.
Trish
Yeah. You've got to want to do it. Yeah, it's got to matter to you. And this is why we put SMARTgoals together and the keyword here is that we do it together.
Patty
So, for those that are not familiar with this acronym, SMART Goals are an acronym for Specific Measurable, what's the 'A’ again?
Trish
Achievable.
Patty
Relevant and Time bound. So, for example Specific, what are we gonna accomplish? What else could we put in this category for Specific?
Trish
Yeah, what action will you take?
Patty
OK. And then when it's Measurable, something needs to be able to be quantified. What else can we talk about in this case?
Trish
Yeah, this can be tricky because sometimes it's hard to quantify feelings such as happiness or confidence. It's noticing what you measure, what measure to you, what value it is to you.
Patty
Exactly. Yeah. And A is for Achievable. So, achieving, is the goal doable? So, for example, do I want to get a qualification in 6 months when really, it's gonna take me two months to do it.
Trish
Is it Realistic?
Patty
Actually, what I meant to say was “its gonna take me 2 years to do it..”
So Relevant and Realistic would also be a good acronym here, yeah. And maybe why is the result so important to you? Yep. And then ‘T’ is time bound. So, for example, we need a time frame, don't we?
Trish
Yeah. Is it a short-term goal? Is it a long-term ongoing goal as?
Patty
Yeah, maybe we can have a quick chat about what coaching is not.
Trish
So coaching isn't like counselling in that it's not a therapeutic space for trauma support to unpack questions.
It's more about moving forward and making plans for the future. So, Carer Gateway also provides counselling services that can support you with any emotional challenges that may come up.
Patty
We've interviewed someone who is a counsellor for Carer Gateway, and we'll link that episode in the show notes too.
I bet that the other thing that coaching isn't is that you're not a psychic. You don't read tarot cards; you don't have a crystal ball.
Or do you?
Trish {laughs}
No, I wish I did. Or a magic fairy wand. I don't have those either.
Patty
Just checking. I'm asking for a friend. {both laugh}
So, from what I understand, some benefits that some of your clients have had from coaching sessions with you, is they get clarity with their goal, especially when they might think that applying for a new role is important, but they don't necessarily have a CV.
Another thing that I'm hearing you say is accountability. You provide a very supportive environment to say, help me stay on track and hold me accountable for my actions, especially if I wander off in an unrelated direction to my goal.
So, from what you've said, you're also encouraging a lot of self-reflection. Why would that be?
Trish
Self-reflection helps you to identify your own strengths and values and areas of growth even when you're struggling to see your own superpowers, you know it just gives you some insight into what's your strength is? What matters to you?
Patty
Well, yeah, because sometimes if we're in it on our own and we don't have the opportunity for discussion and sharing, we just don't see. We think it's Groundhog Day. But when someone says, look, I also noticed that it was a lot worse 2 years ago and you're not encountering any of those issues now. And yes, you're right, you're not quite where you want to be, but you actually have made progress. It's important to celebrate that progress, isn't it?
Trish
Yeah. Celebrate those wins.
Patty
Yeah. And I'm also hearing you say that overcoming limiting beliefs is a big one. Can you help unpack that for us a little bit?
Trish
I’d help challenge and reframe the limiting beliefs holding you back by achieving more goals, such as thinking you can’t do something because you feel you’re too old or not qualified; or you can’t see where your experiences add up to your skills.
Yeah, it's more of challenging that thinking and of creating a little bit of an opportunity for growth to see things in a different way.
Patty
And the great thing about coaching is that it's a very action-oriented approach I'm hearing.
Trish
Yes, coaching means you take consistent and focused action and turn your goals into tangible results. So, taking small steps until they become a natural habit.
Patty
So theoretically I can eat a whole elephant, just so long as it's a bite at a time.
Trish
Yeah, one bite.
Patty
How do you do this for your clients? This is very impressive.
Trish
Yeah, so I help you overcome obstacles in attaining your goals by helping you uncover what the blocks might be. I keep you accountable by checking in with you to see if you're on track or if you need to tweak things so that they are more sustainable for you.
Patty
So, say for example, we had scheduled fortnightly sessions and I had done maybe 3 out of 5 of my action plans and I was feeling a little bit deflated and disappointed in myself.
One thing that we would tweak is noticing that maybe 5 things to do in 2 weeks is too much and maybe we could adjust our expectations. Would that be a good example?
Trish
That's a great example. Yeah, make making it achievable.
Patty
Yeah, and fun.
Trish
Yeah.
Patty
What else do you do?
Trish
I help you breakdown the goals into more manageable steps, so it's less overwhelming, but also so that you have a template to do this on your own and for yourself once our coaching sessions have been completed.
Patty
So theoretically what we've done, I can apply to another goal and then another goal and another goal just by following that format?
Trish
Absolutely.
So, I'll help you stay focused by working on one thing at a time. This is very important, as carers are often juggling multiple responsibilities.
Patty
I bet.
Trish
Yeah, so empower you to take the steps forward by identifying your strengths and pointing out the areas of your life where you're already thriving. So, I'm shining a light on that.
Patty
Yes, I like that. So, I might come to you and say, look, “I'm really crap at my caring role because such and such went really wrong today, and I don't think that I'm cut out for this”.
And you could say, “yes, but I've noticed that in your personal life with your children, you do this, and in your work life, you do that, and with your partner you do this.”
Trish
Yes, exactly!
Patty
Let's see how we can apply to the caring role.
Trish
Yes, those are transferable skills.
Patty
Yes, 100%. Yeah. So basically you're helping me unlock my own potential.
Trish
Yeah. I also support you to explore new ways of doing things and thinking that you may not have come across before, especially if the current way you are doing things is not working for you, but you're unsure how to get out of a rut, or how to break out of an old habit.
Patty
Yeah. And do you also celebrate my wins with me? Would you do that?
Trish
I definitely celebrate your wins.
Patty
So are you saying you're a cheerleader as well?
Trish
I'm an exceptional cheerleader, and not just because of my dance background, but because I also experience joy when I see you reach your goals.
Patty
Personally, I think that's a really important quality for any coach or counsellor to embody.
Trish
Yeah, yeah.
Patty
And I bet you help me stay motivated and moving forward when I'm feeling stuck just simply by sending resources and referrals my way.
And I think the big thing here, the big takeaway, is the plan to attain the goal. What do I need to do as a carer to be responsible for my sessions with you?
Trish
So a mutual commitment to each other is really important. Being punctual and prepared is important for both of us. If you're going to wash the dishes or drive during a session together, you're not going to get a lot out of the sessions, and in fact is something that I don’t recommend.
Patty
Yeah, and it's also a bit disrespectful to your time, isn't it? Because I can imagine the coaching session's structure varies depending on the approach and the individual style. So, it sounds like to get the best value from coaching, it's also really important to be open to new ideas and perspectives. Is that right?
Trish
Absolutely. Being able to complete actions outside the coaching sessions as well, that's where the real change happens. By taking the actions to get the results that you want and just be in a space with little distractions during the coaching sessions.
And one of the most important things is having a pen and notepad handy during a coaching session to jot down any actions, strategies, or insights that may come up during the coaching session that you can always go back to.
It’s such a great tool because you can look at your progress and see the changes you’re making and it’s also a way of building a toolkit of different strategies that you can refer to later.
Patty
That sounds important. I've previously asked you what advice you might have for carers that are juggling many priorities and your answer was to pause and reflect, which to many people could be maddening to hear because they're so busy.
But to that point, I expect that you would say, but are you effective with your business?
Trish
Exactly, and by observing you might see some patterns. Some things might occur incidentally, but you might notice there are times in the day where you are most productive, so leaning into those times to do more complex tasks and then noticing when you're less motivated, then you can focus on the things that don't need as much concentration.
Patty
I find that's true for me. I tend to be more focused and firing on all cylinders in the mornings and then in the afternoons, I just do the mundane admin tasks which don't require a lot of brain bandwidth.
Now Trish as someone that holds the space for many clients on a full-time basis, what do you do to ensure that you decompress from stress, and you recalibrate your own nervous system?
Trish
Well, I start the day with meditation or a prayer to set the intention for the day. Ideally, I do 20 minutes of Pilates 3 to 4 times a week and that helps me with anchoring in and setting me up for success for the day. If I don't get around to it, I give myself some self-compassion. I don't beat myself up about it, so taking some time out in nature helps as well. I walk in the morning to my local coffee shop near the water which is lovely.
Patty
Coffee also helps. And how do you switch off at the end of the day?
Trish
Well after dinner, I like to give thanks for what I'm grateful for. Sometimes I'll listen to a podcast or something that I find inspirational.
Patty
And Speaking of podcasts and inspirational, I would hope that there is one particular one that you listen to, Trish called the ‘Carer Conversations’!
Trisha {both giggle}
Absolutely. Listening to those inspirational talks helps to set the intention for the day. Yeah.
Patty
So on the days that you work in the office, I bet the drive to and from home, you probably use that to transition and switch on and off. And then what about at the end of the day, do you switch off devices?
Trish
Yeah, I try to switch off devices and distractions. I find my phone is a big distraction and I try and put it in the other room, which means I have to get up to turn the alarm off the next morning.
Patty
Kudos to you.
Trish
Yeah. Don't always get it done, but I'll try.
Patty
That's brave. OK. I have no choice. No choice whatsoever, but to reward you with some rapid fire wrap up questions.
Trish
OK, let's do it.
Patty
Alright, what was your last impulse purchase?
Trish
Ohh gosh I'm so frugal now. When I was younger, I was an impulse shop. Maybe it's an age thing, as I will often sleep on it and see if I still want it the next day.
Patty
I love it, even when I'm trying to get you with the rapid fire wrap up questions, you're still inspiring us to be mindful. OK, do you think it's better to ask for permission or forgiveness?
Trish
Again, as I'm getting older, I think forgiveness. There's a freedom when you're older and you're less concerned about getting it right all the time and pleasing others.
Patty
Yeah, you don't really need to be liked by the wrong people anymore.
Trish
Mm-hmm.
Patty
If you had to pick, would you choose nachos or hot chips?
Trish
Hot chips! Mexican is just not my thing.
Patty
Even though you're spicy. Do you have any limiting beliefs?
Trish
I know. Yeah, I think I'd be lying if I said I didn't. Maybe it boils down to that sense of not being enough and I continue to work on this and I'm getting better at it.
Patty
I really appreciate your honesty. It shows me that you're coming from a beautiful and very authentic space with your work.
Trish
Aw, thank you.
Patty
Thank you, Trish. And this brings us to the end of our latest carer conversation. If this chat with Trish touched your heart, or you know of someone that can benefit from hearing it, liking, subscribing or leaving us a 5-star review, really helps us get to the right listening ears.
The Carer Gateway offers you the opportunity to work one on one with a coach to identify, explore and move towards your own personal goals.
As carers, we often have to set aside our own needs because the needs of another must take priority. Coaching is about taking time out to think about your own wellbeing and consider how you can find space in your life to balance your needs and the needs of the people you care for.
While chatting with your coach, you can reflect on how things are for you right now, and whether there are areas in your life where you might like to make some changes. Together, you can explore possible steps that move you in the direction of your goals.
Designed in partnership with carers, each coaching session includes information, practical tips, resources, and reflection activities that will get you thinking about how you are going, how you’d like things to be and how you might be able to take steps towards making that happen.
Until we meet again, take extra good care of yourself.
Billy:
If you are caring for a relative or a friend who has a disability, a mental health condition, a life limiting health or medical condition.
Or they are frail because they're getting older. Please contact us at Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737, or look us up on www.carergateway.gov.au
And if you are a carer, you're allowed to take time to look after yourself. You are just as important as the person you take care of.