In this compelling episode, Patty Kikos interviews Jana Pittman, as she shares the remarkable story of her transition from Olympian to medical professional, and ultimately, to a devoted mother of six. With honesty and passion, she reflects on the challenges and setbacks that shaped her path and how those experiences led to her most rewarding role as a doctor and mother. Join us for an inspiring conversation about perseverance, personal growth, and finding purpose in unexpected places. GUEST: Dr Jana Pittman - https://www.janapittman.com/ SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook CREDITS: Host – Patty Kikos Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc Sound Engineer – John Hresc GET IN TOUCH: Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier. You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
In this compelling episode, Patty Kikos interviews Jana Pittman, as she shares the remarkable story of her transition from Olympian to medical professional, and ultimately, to a devoted mother of six. With honesty and passion, she reflects on the challenges and setbacks that shaped her path and how those experiences led to her most rewarding role as a doctor and mother. Join us for an inspiring conversation about perseverance, personal growth, and finding purpose in unexpected places.
GUEST:
Dr Jana Pittman - https://www.janapittman.com/
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram
Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook
Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook
CREDITS:
Host – Patty Kikos
Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc
Sound Engineer – John Hresc
GET IN TOUCH:
Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier.
You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Jana:
It is being brave with that failure and pushing through in that space, because I know that all the good things that are in my life now, all the things I cherish most, came from disappointment.
So, you know I was a gynecologist, I’m in training now and I registered in gynecology, because of the miscarriages, because of the IVF I required to get pregnant, because of the cervical cancer scare that I had, because I loved being pregnant.
You know, so I am a women's health doctor, because of those experiences. The days that I genuinely thought would kill me, made me who I am now. So, there will be lots of people listening to this who are in their darkest days, right now, and the biggest thing is that if you get up the next day, you’ve lived through the previous.
So, you hold on to that, and you hold on to that, and you hold on to that. Cry as much as you can, because I think it’s important to get that emotion out. Don’t be like our parents, who would suck it up and store it, and just hold it in, because, that backfires, and then you just get angry.
So, I see it time and time again, even as a doctor now with my own patients where I see carers regularly trying so hard to be calm, I feel like giving them a hug and saying go out there and just scream at the world for a second, because you’re hurting more than the patient is, because they don’t fully understand what they’re going through, whereas you do.
You understand what this next chapter is going to look like for them and you’re going to be a huge part of that space, so it’s important to let it out.
----
Billy:
From the Carer Gateway at the Benevolent Society, we welcome you to, Carer Conversations with your host Patty Kikos.
The Care Gateway is the Australian Government national care hub and provides reliable services, support and advice especially for carers.
This podcast is where we share interviews with guests that have specialized knowledge to help support carers to look after their emotional, mental and physical well-being.
We are recording on Aboriginal country, on lands which were never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands and waters. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders, past, present and emerging.
Always was, always will be.
---
Patty
Hello my fabulous listeners, welcome welcome!
Today’s episode is being recorded at a live event that The Benevolent Society has hosted for our carers, so you might notice that the sound isn’t quite studio quality, but I just couldn’t miss the opportunity to introduce you to Jana Pittman.
Jana is a 2x World Champion and 4x Commonwealth Champion in the sport of athletics before she swapped the track for the ice, to becomes Australia's first female to compete in both the Summer and Winter Olympic Games.
After sport she completed a Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery and is now a doctor in Women's Health. She has been a carer for her brother, is an author, occasional reality star and motivational speaker. However, her greatest achievement is being a mother to 6 gorgeous children.
I've got to tell you something, Jana. I had a text fight message with a friend about you. They begged me NOT to bring it up SAS because it gets me so incensed with rage, because I think you should have won!
Jana {laughs}
Oh thank you, that’s very nice. I mean I think that it was because partly, they knew that medically, I had started to struggle.
Patty
Really?!
Jana
Well the day before I had passed out in one of the harder exercises, and I think we all need to remember that I was only 5 months post partum, I had just had a baby
Patty
Yes, I KNOW! Which I think they should have taken into consideration! See why they told me I shouldn't have brought it up.
Jana
Haha! But I did watch the very last task they did because I got knocked out on 12 1/2 days out of 13 and feel like I could have done it. So, I do think it was a bit of a robbed situation, but then.
Patty
Absolutely. Unequivocally, in no uncertain terms. {Jana giggles}
Well, in your book, you wrote that you've made peace with your demons and owning your floors. “I've always been too honest!” you said, “I share too much, and I talk too fast.”
But. You're the only Aussie woman who's competed in the Summer and the Winter Olympics. You've had 6 children, (maybe 8), become a doctor with First Class Honours and the University medal. Who even does that?
And then completed a Master's and now have commenced your PhD in Obstetrics. If you weren't so nice, you'd be very, very unrelatable.
{Jana giggles} That’s nice
Patty
You also spoke about the danger of putting all your eggs in one basket, as you said in your book, that you lost the Olympics; your marriage broke down, he met his future wife when you failed your first entrance exam to medical school. You also experienced 3 miscarriages, which many might not know about you, and the media pressure and the bullying, which I think people do know about.
Jana
Yeah it was pretty tough.
Patty
So, I want to know when you needed to be cared for at your most vulnerable, what was the most helpful thing that your carers would do for you when you were experiencing so much pain?
Jana
It's a very interesting question. I think I rely quite heavily on my beautiful mother. She has been a person who's been a rock, but also an advocate, both in a positive and a really “you need to change the pathway you're on” kind of way. We call them The Midnight love letters. So, when she didn't agree with something, she'd slip a note under my door. So, I'd read it the next morning.
Patty
She sounds very solutions focused.
Jana
Very solutions focused, but also the first person who'd give you a hug, and can be silent, so I think I won the genetic lottery when I got mum as a parent because she was just so good at managing my emotions.
It's really interesting since SAS and since writing the book. I have actually gone on a further journey, talking around and learning about my inner chaos and how I how I tend to race after mountains.
You know, I hear my resume and even myself, I look at it and go, “Oh, that's ridiculous. Why? Why would someone want to do all of those things? And so, it's an ongoing journey to find what caring I need for self-care.
Patty
Yeah. Yeah.
Jana
And so I feel like one of the biggest benefits is my mother's given me the ability to, to be introspective and actually sit down with myself when things are going really poorly.
Patty
And be reflective?
Jana
And reflect on it. Yeah. So, it's one of I think my skills is that now I can sit there and genuinely think, right? Well, what really is the situation that that is happening? What can we do about it? What can't be changed and let the rest go.
Patty
Yeah. The key thing and let the rest go. Because I was thinking about this today in terms of how our carers at today's event can relate to you before you even go on stage and share your greatness, and that is that the caring role is often invisible.
Because there's so many elements to it that go unrecognized and it's the same with athletes because people speak about you being an Olympian, but you actually won many gold medals at Championships that aren't even mentioned.
In fact, when you announced you were pregnant with your first son, many of your sponsors dropped you, even though you still went on to win gold medals after that. How can carers learn to value themselves when the world, or to the world they're invisible?
Jana
That's a really tough question, and you're right, that is one of the the hardest spaces someone's ever gonna be in. And I often think of my mother in that space because she's been the carer for me. She was the carer for my grandfather as he passed away from bowel cancer. That's her role. Her whole life.
She's a careers advisor, so she's in that caring role of her students. So, her whole life has been what she's been actively about. But yet she's Jana Pittman's mother, like she's not Jackie Pittman. She’s “Oh, you're Jana Pittman's mother. Ohh, you know, oh, you're the teacher or you're Ms. Pittman”. You know, if it's one of those roles where you're right, it's very silenced.
But I think she got gratification after seeing how she saw others appreciate her. So, I think it is hard for carers because if the person is not able to show that love back, they might be disappointed. They might be angry, they might have mental health concerns or whatever. You're being forced to sit with and love through is really challenging but hoping there's someone else in that in your life that you can go to and talk that through and for my mother, that was her sister.
Patty
Ah.
Jana
So, my mum would ring her sister and she was again very open. "Jana is causing all this drama, you know, she's fallen apart in her marriage and she's trying to go to the Olympics and do medicine at the same time. And this is just ridiculous”. And then her sister would be her carer, and I think one of the biggest things, or the message in that, is that we need to reach out to others.
Particularly at events like we’re at today, particularly where there are other carers in the room. So, finding that common thread having that backup support like community.
Patty
Because 1 person like your mum, it’s not sustainable.
Jana
It's not sustainable. And so I have to be also very recognised that mum can't do it alone. And sometimes I need to back off her.
Patty
That's a good thing to say, actually.
Jana
She finds it difficult to say no to me and so that's a really hard space to navigate is how to ask your person that you're looking after to stop.
Patty
Jana, you find it difficult to say no to you.
{Both laugh}
Jana
Yeah, I do find it difficult to say no to. I'm getting a lot better at that though. That's a big space that I've changed in.
Patty
Our carers can go from feeling on top of the world with running a well-oiled machine for the care for their loved one. But only hours later they can possibly find themselves in an emergency room, watching them fight for their life.
You experienced this when you were reigning world champion and then you snapped your meniscus while you were warming up before you even ran. You missed that Olympics and then an Olympic later, you tore your fascia a few months prior.
So, in your words, you say “how you deal with failure will determine your happiness, feel it, accept it, mourn it, and then use it to fuel your future goals”. In fact, you've gone on to say “Shine a spotlight on your failure and use it to light the way ahead” Is a big part of that, retiring from also being a people pleaser and caring about what others think about you?
Jana
You know, there's a lot in what you just said there that I'd love to go into with time being precious, but I think the first thing is that everybody fails and so I feel like if you can use that failure as a positive, it's going to be something that stops haunting you.
Patty
It's almost an essential rite of passage if you don't fail, how will you learn?
Jana
Yeah. And the more you fail, the more comfortable you get in that space, and the more likely you're gonna push boundaries. But for me, failure is also something that is very personal. And I'm incredibly emotive and I allow the world to see it, whereas in Australia that's not something we always love, which is where I got into the media issues when I was a younger athlete.
Patty
Also before they had reality TV.
Jana
Yeah, well, now it'd be great. I'd be a star now because emotions would sell newspapers. But in that day and age, we came from an environment where, “here's a cup of concrete, suck it up, princess.” It was an era of do not show your emotion, pretend nothing's going wrong, only portray the positive. Which is why even in my current social media, I'm very honest and very raw about what I'm experiencing as a mother, as a doctor, and all that kind of stuff.
Patty
But you're also very protected as the person that you are now. But back then the media was hideously misogynistic.
Jana
Well, I think it was also, there was no option to give a message back like we didn't have social media to write and say, “I didn't mean that” or “I'm sorry for saying the wrong thing”. Or, “can I give my side of this picture of I was hurting, I was embarrassed, I was honest.” Like there is some positives and negatives to the whole social media world in that yes, of course it was for many people you watch this perfect person showing only their perfect days.
Patty
The highlight reel
Jana
Yeah, but if you find the right advocates on there, there's lots of us really owning our weight changes, our wrinkles, our postpartum journeys, like, there is a lot of realness on there. You've just gotta be careful and smart enough to pick the right people that you follow.
Patty
That's right.
Jana
It is being brave with that failure and pushing through in that space, because I think all the good things that are in my life now, all the things I cherish most, came from disappointment.
So, I’m a gynecologist, I’m in training now and I registered in gynecology, because of the miscarriages, because of the IVF I required to get pregnant, because of the cervical cancer scare that I had, because I loved being pregnant.
You know, so I am a women's health doctor, because of those experiences. The days that I genuinely thought would kill me, made me who I am now. So, there will be lots of people listening to this who are in their darkest days, right now, and the biggest thing is that if you get up the next day, you’ve lived through the previous.
So, you hold on to that, and you hold on to that, and you hold on to that. Cry as much as you can, because I think it’s important to get that emotion out. Don’t be like our parents, who would suck it up and store it, and just hold it in, because, that backfires, and then you just get angry.
So, I see it time and time again, even as a doctor now with my own patients where I see carers regularly try so hard to be calm, I feel like giving them a hug and saying go out there and just scream at the world for a second, because you’re hurting more than the patient is, because they don’t fully understand what they’re going through, whereas you do.
You understand what this next chapter is going to look like for them and you’re going to be a huge part of that space, so it’s important to let it out.
Patty
I mean the many stories I've heard over the years of how people overcome daily struggles and build resilience just like you were talking about. It's got me pondering about the spectrum of experience because I find it interesting that you had many injuries as a runner, but never as a bobsledder.
Jana
Yes, it is interesting. {they laugh}
Patty
And so many people have the best and worst years of their lives in one year. So, for example, you could marry the love of your life, but then you lose your dream job. And in terms of your life experiences, you have achieved the highest of highs. So, I wonder, isn't it only natural that you'll learn to endure and build resilience with the lowest of lows?
Jana
I think it's a mixture because I think the yoyo of life is what creates that resilience. So, you, you know, I think if you had a very, very flat lined life with no ups and downs, you don't create anything really because.. and it's interesting because I think as we are also people that are constantly trying to be happy constantly trying to find a way to feel happy and to make sure that there is something that pulls us out of that negative space and don't get me wrong. I've been there.
I am a massive comfort eater, so if I'm having a bad day at work, I head straight to that fridge.
Patty
Yes!
Jana
Everytime, like, and for so long, I beat myself up for that. I beat myself up and I beat myself up for eating. You're stupid. You're doing all this wrong. And then I changed and then I started online shopping. That's bad as well.
Then I started Netflix bingeing like there were so many things that I was trying to fill a void when one should have just sat down and said is what am I actually feeling and is it OK to sit with those feelings? Am I OK sitting with my disappointment and my sadness? Because you're not supposed to be happy all the time.
Patty
Yes, this is true.
Jana
But we're ingrained to feel that we should be.
Patty
I love that answer.
Jana
And so, I think that's what we actually need to change is forgive yourself. It's OK to eat a chocolate bar every once in a while, like it's fine. And for me it's every second day thing. But I train hard to try and to try and you know equate that out. But I think I need to be a little bit more gentle on yourself and recognise that it's also OK to sit with that discomfort.
Patty
100%. You say that you always had a dream board, and you inspire people to get clear on their goals and then rank them in order of importance. So obviously sport having lots of kids becoming a doctor is not a new thing. It was always gonna happen for you is it's what you always wanted and just like injuries, didn't stop you from competing in the Winter Olympics, not even a divorce or a lack of an intimate relationship could stop you from having more children, so I want to know on a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it for our carers to do this, to prioritise their goals?
Jana {laughs}
It's prioritising your goals and also breaking boundaries like there are so many things that the world will say you can’t do, particularly when you have so many responsibilities that aren't, you can't step aside from. So, you need to find something that is for you, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about that. It's what gets you through each day.
That's what you take on. And for me, being a mother was something that I had always wanted. I'd always wanted 5 to 10 children, so a really big, big family. And so unfortunately, I'm a little bit socially inept when it comes to relationships, but also hard to date. Someone who's constantly chasing, I'm constantly chasing dreams. I'm constantly time poor. And let's be honest, a partner wants you. They want you around, they want to share in your life.
And I'm like, “No, sorry, I've got this on. No, sorry, I don't finish work till midnight. Sorry. I wanna spend time with my kids.” It's just hard. And so, yes, I was very lucky to know someone who'd successfully gone through IVF with a with a sperm donor and had 2 beautiful twin boys. And I watched her life and how brave she was, and she was a very, very senior professional in marketing. So I thought, you know, she's managed it with her career.
Patty
Yeah. You spoke about it in your book. What a turning point!
Jana
I Know! So, I remember sitting with her at the pool and going, “I'm gonna do this.” And thankfully yet again I had the support of my mother who agreed with it. We picked the donor together and obviously I went on to have 2 beautiful girls with a sperm donor, so I have definitely broken boundaries.
But I also think I'm now at a point in my life where I'm trying to turn that back a little bit as well. Where I'm actually recognising that I have very, very large dreams and I now need to scale them back for a few years and that you can't be a chaser all the time
Patty
You have seasons of things, don't you?
Jana
Yes, that's perfect. Yes, you have seasons of things and at the moment I'm in a season of consolidation and I can't keep new things coming in at the moment or. I've been working with a great life coach recently and it's interesting that she said you think of life as a pot with all the vegetables in it.
You know, it's all boiling well beautifully, but once it overflows, you're putting too many things in and too many peppers and salt and all the different mixtures of ingredients. Once it overflows, it's useless.
Patty
Yeah, that's true.
Jana
You know, you lose that taste and you've made a mess. So, you want to avoid the mess and chaos of taking on too much and so you can have a brimming pot, but it can't overflow.
Patty
Yeah. It's like when you're holding too many things in your hands and you've got opportunities to hold new things, you're gonna drop things, aren't you?
Jana
Yeah. Yeah.
You gonna drop things. And I think that especially for carers, needs to be something they're very aware of is that they've got a huge part of their life they can't change. So, what bits can they do and certainly there are certain times in your life they may not be able to, but they can put that dream board up and pick something for the next year or 2 of where they want to go in the future.
Patty
I agree. You speak of the tall, awkward girl at school.
Jana
Haha that hasn't changed.
Patty
Well, you also talk about how you learn to own your fabulous quirks irrespective, of what others think, and despite the sexist and cruel way that the media had treated you. I especially love the unique and unapologetic way that you created your family, and you just spoke about that. I mean, in your words, Jana. And this is what I love, so this is a direct quote from you, I'm gonna say it back to you OK?
“We all need to find our place in the world. I have an ex-husband, a current husband. My girls have a donor dad and I'm a donor mum. My ex-husband has kids with his new wife and the girl's donor dad has helped 3 other families become parents. Imagine trying to draw our family tree!”
Jana {laughs}
Yes!
Patty
What's one way that carers can be unapologetic about owning the things that they might be a little embarrassed or ashamed about?
Jana
Look, it's a tough question because it took me so long to get there and, in all truth, I'm still a work in progress. You know, I've just escalated in my current career, and I still care so deeply what my colleagues think of me at work. And so, I've recognised that I have to work on that and it's the same thing. You know, we are always chasing that perfection in self to feel “enough” when you look in the mirror, that's what you look at. Ultimately all we want to do, is to be able to look in the mirror and go, “I like who I am and I'm committed to continuing on that good positive pathway.”
And you're gonna have ups and downs with that. And so, you know that it's a challenging one but to not care what other people think would be such a gift. But is it always a reality? Not always.
Patty
I think it's a spectrum as well, isn't it?
Jana
It is a spectrum.
But it's acknowledging that if you are someone who cares about the opinions of others and cares about the external environment, that's OK. But just make sure you can check yourself when your behaviours or your feelings become hurt by the external, because they can't hurt you unless you let it.
Patty
True
Jana
But it's catching that. So, it could happen. And so now I find when I'm at work and I get a negative feedback from something, I'm very junior. I'm still learning and I'm making mistakes and all that kind of stuff.
And you're obviously trying really hard not to in a medical setting. But it happens.
Patty
Of course
Jana
I try really hard to go, “It's not about me. It's about the situation. So, this is the situation. I can be disappointed with that. But it's not a reflection on who I am and my skill set, and I'm a work in progress.” And so that can change the language and all of a sudden that situation is no longer as burdensome because you know that it's just a day in the life of me not what defines me. So that's my best advice in that space
Patty
I've got a couple of rapid fire funnies for you. But before I ask them, what was the greatest thing you learned when you cared for your brother?
Jana
Patience, I think, was the biggest one I don't have a lot of it.
Patty
How did it show up for you? Because you're also a mother of 6, so that tells me that you actually do have more than you think you do.
Jana
Well, I was only a mother of 3 at that point. It wasn't just patience for him, it was also patience for the situation because I never knew whether he was going to turn downhill again. And so it was that patience of the situation that it takes time to heal.
It takes time to change. It takes time for the world to catch up with where he's going, and I can thankfully say he's now very, very well. And so therefore it's a reflection. Now that I look back on it and I think how proud I am of him and how what he's done with his life, and how he's made an incredible life for himself.
Patty
So, when you had 3 kids, that was a while ago. So, at the time, would you have considered yourself a carer?
Jana
Well, I didn't until we were thinking about this event, and I sort of sat and thought, oh, you know, I am a carer of 6 kids, but it's not quite the same. But then I vividly remember that my beautiful brother was an ex-Afghani veteran, and he had quite severe PTSD. So, he moved in with me.
After he couldn't live at home alone because he wasn't safe to be by himself. So, he came and lived under my roof. But we had several incidents. When I was at work, worried and afraid. Yeah, he would unfortunately, you know, turn to the wrong options and we'd be back in the ED again.
A couple of times, the ED was at my own work where I was working and I was just like “this is big and it's hard, it's heavy.” And so, I had to learn to be patient in that setting and patient with my own emotions and feelings because I just wanted to ring him. And then the next minute, I want to love him. And the next minute I wanted to push him out and the next I just was all these emotions that were so foreign to me.
Patty
Patience for the journey as well, that is actually a roller coaster that goes up and down and isn't a linear thing, isn't that right?
Jana
Yeah, exactly. Right, that's. Exactly.
Patty
Alright. Rapid fire funnies. Expensive presents or homemade presents. You've got 6 kids, so I can only imagine..
Jana {laughs}
All homemade, 90% homemade presents. Although we just bought a caravan to go and travel more frequently on the weekend, which is a pretty expensive present.
Patty
Ohh, but that's beautiful. That's quality time.
Jana
It is quality time.
Patty
Alright. This is a loaded question because you're a doctor. How often do you floss?
Jana
Argh. Twice a week. I'm really bad. That's it.
Patty
Oh my God, you even do twice a week, that's pretty good.
Jana
Good. No, it's not. You’re suposed to do it everyday!
Patty
OK. We'll just leave that one. Do not ask me... {both laugh}
What item is always worth spending money on aside from your caravan.
Jana
Good underpants.
Patty
Yes.
Jana
Just being honest.
Patty
Yes, yes, excellent answer. What story do you tell most often?
Jana
The birth of the girls, the IVF donor story would be the one that I think comes up mostly when I'm talking to people.
Patty
Even in your life, outside of a professional setting?
Jana
Mainly in a professional setting. So, like, I'm regularly talking to patients about infertility and choice and options and the hospital I work at there’s regularly women in their 40s who haven't had children, haven't found a family. So, I'd say that story comes out. I talk about my miscarriages a lot.
Patty
Yep, Yep.
Jana
And balance, you know, I regularly had asked about how do you manage the children and work life balance?
Patty
Wow Jana Pittman, a combination of cautionary tale and extraordinary greatness.
{Jana laughs}
Patty
Thank you for joining us today.
Jana
It's a pleasure.
Patty
Thank you for listening, folks. I hope you enjoyed my chat with Janna as much as I did. Unlike most of our guests who get to prepare their answers beforehand, I coaxed Jana into a room right before she did an incredible presentation at our Carers Conference. And as you can hear, her mind is sharp and her warmth is just infectious.
We'd love it if you could share her interview with someone you think could benefit from hearing it, and as always, liking, subscribing, but especially leaving us a 5 star review ensures we get to the people that need to hear us the most. If your journey is particularly tough at the moment, know that we're sending you our love and support till next time. Take good care of your precious self.
Billy:
If you are caring for a relative or a friend who has a disability, a mental health condition, a life limiting health or medical condition.
Or they are frail because they're getting older. Please contact us at Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737, or look us up on www.carergateway.gov.au
And if you are a carer, you're allowed to take time to look after yourself. You are just as important as the person you take care of.