Rachael Bennett is a strong Aboriginal Dharawal woman, who is dedicated to helping her people achieve their goals and rise above the stigma. She was taken into care, at the tail end of the Stolen Generation, placed into foster care, and ended up in a loving home where she was eventually adopted. Rachael helped look after her brother Mick who has cerebral palsy and toured Country as a singer and also worked in Child Protection. She has overcome drug + alcohol addiction and is a proud gay woman who lives with her partner Mary and their animals. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses, criminal activity, drugs + alcohol and the trauma of the Stolen Generation
Patty:
When you get triggered by comments regarding Aboriginal people or LGBTQI+ communities, what do you do?
Rachael:
Look, I'm a proud Black woman and lesbian now. I mean, look, I'm not out and about going “I’m a lesbian everyone, hello!!”
But if people ask me, well, I've worked through a lot of that stuff, so I don't care about that, and I'd like to see it be more spoken about and accepted. It's more my generation and up, that has a bit of a problem with that stuff as well.
Patty:
What do you do? Do you sit down and chat? Do you educate them, or do you let things go?
Rachael:
No, education to me is a big thing and I will question people. But it also depends on how much they've annoyed me. {giggles}
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Billy:
From the Carer Gateway at the Benevolent Society, we welcome you to, Carer Conversations with your host Patty Kikos.
The Care Gateway is the Australian Government national care hub and provides reliable services, support and advice especially for carers.
This podcast is where we share interviews with guests that have specialized knowledge to help support carers to look after their emotional, mental and physical well-being.
We are recording on Aboriginal country, on lands which were never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands and waters. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders, past and present.
Always was, always will be.
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Patty:
Rachael Bennett is a strong Aboriginal Darawal woman who is dedicated to helping her people achieve their goals and rise above the stigma.
On the tail end of the Stolen Generation in the very early 70’s, Rachael was taken into care and not allowed to be with her father as he was Black and a Criminal. Placed into Foster care, she ended up in a loving home where she was eventually adopted.
Living through the sorrows she fell into some dark holes, but eventually pulled herself out of a deep hole, that is so common to her people who were taken, forgotten, and lost. The scars are still carried, but also with a lesson, and a powerful journey that gives her better insight into grief, loss and deep trauma.
In her younger years she was a musician travelling around the Country, singing to audiences vast and wide, and entertaining them with her stories and music.
She has a long professional history in Child Protection, and now Rachael is educating others about Aboriginal business, and protocols, and trying assist in her role as An Aboriginal Engagement Practitioner. She aims to bring together the work environment so we can work together, to empower her people to fly high.
Rachael is closely connected to the community she lives in and is at her best sitting in the bush with her dog Tubby, watching the wildlife in the waters, lands and skies. This is where she is truly connected to her Ancestors and to her people.
Before we get into it, folks. TRIGGER WARNING. We will be discussing drug and alcohol addiction and criminal activity. But most of all, Rachael will share the trauma that was inflicted on her and many other First Nations people, when the Australian government wouldn’t allow families to remain together, and insisted they be fostered or adopted to white families. If this is a lot for you, or becomes a lot for you, please reach out to someone that can support you in feeling safe. Please listen with care, if this topic is difficult for you, we’ll understand.
Rache hello welcome!
Rachael:
Thank you, my sister.
Patty:
Let's take it back a notch. You're part of the Stolen Generation, so I want to start by acknowledging this trauma and offering my sincere condolences for what you and your family went through. And in some ways are still going through. I know you were adopted by a white family. Can you tell us a little about your history and share whatever you might feel comfortable sharing about your life?
Rachael:
Yeah, look my mum who was of German and Spanish descent died when I was quite young. I think around 1 yo or so, of diabetes, she went into a coma. I lived with my grandfather around, and with a few other people before I went into care, and my dad had said that he was going to get married to his partner so that he could take me, and the system wouldn't let him.
Back then, because he was, “black” and a "criminal”, (that's what it says in my paperwork, which was a bit of a shock to read,) so I eventually went into foster care, and had a few placements before I ended up in a white family and who I call my parents today. They fostered me for a little while and eventually were able to adopt me.
Patty:
So does this mean you were taken into care when you were 2?
Rachael:
Yes yeah.
Patty:
And when your papers stated that your dad was also a criminal is this for a minor offence that emphasises how over incarcerated First Nations people are?
Rachael:
Yes, I think that was quite minimal to what he was to go on to do.
Patty:
Ahh, right...
Rachael:
So break and enters and that sort of stuff.
Patty:
Previously you said that he would have needed to adopt you. Why would he need to do that, given he was your biological father?
Rachael:
Yeah, it's a very strange system on my paperwork. When you get it and I think a lot of black fellas would have had the same, and white people who were taken at that time. On my paperwork, I was charged with abandonment.
Patty:
You were? Not him?
Rachael:
Yes, I was charged with abandonment, so you get charged as a child, which is very bizarre.
I can laugh about it now, but it's not funny and so I think it was just the the way that the system works. So, Dad desperately wanted to get me in, but it was just a no go.
Patty:
And you also said his criminal past at the time was nothing compared to what was to come later. What does that mean? And of course, if you're not comfortable sharing that, we don't have to go into it.
Rachael:
No, that's fine Patty. My dad is Graham ‘Abo’ Henry. Who I was to find out later is a notorious criminal from the 80s that was partnered with Neddy Smith. Dad went on to do, you know, big heists and that sort of stuff and dealing drugs and eventually went to prison.
Patty:
So, when he came out Link-Up called you and they told you that they'd found your dad. What was life like for you then? What were you doing?
Rachael:
It was very bizarre actually. I was a singer at the time, and I was also running a nail business doing acrylic nails and I remember the phone call, but I'd been going through Link-Up for a couple of years and it does take a long time to find your family.
I was reading a book on ‘Neddy Smith’ and I looked at the photos in it and I saw this Graham ‘Abo’ Henry. I think I knew my dad's name was Graham, and I looked at it and I thought, oh my god this guy looks like me!
And the next day Link-Up rang and said “We know your dad. Unfortunately, he's Graham ‘Abo’ Henry” and I was like, “Oh my God, I was just reading that book!” And he had just gotten out of jail at the time.
Patty:
And did you know of any of your other siblings, from your dad's side?
Rachael:
No, not at the time, but I actually had realised that I had sang with my sister, before I actually knew her, so she used to sing in the Neil Diamond show.
Patty:
With you? And before you knew you were sisters?
Rachael:
Yeah, so I didn't actually sing with her, but we were part of the same thing. And yeah, it was very funny. It’s funny how life happens, so we're both singers!
Patty:
That's incredible, and I know you went to a few foster homes before you were eventually fostered by your now mum and your four brothers tell me a little bit about that.
Rachael:
Yeah, I think at one stage I was in Bijura which is at Glebe. And The funny thing was, years later when I was to work for DOCS or DCJ, I ended up having to do training there at Bijura. And I just couldn't do back then, and I think it's still called CDC training that you do and it, but it was just weird because I had to do some assessment thing, secondary assessments or whatever they're called.
Well, I could never pass it because I'm in there, right? And I've been there before. It's so traumatic and I don't think anyone really understood how traumatic that was. And so eventually I did pass it, but I was never good at secondary assessments.
Patty:
And tell me a little bit about your adolescence.
Rachael:
Yeah, look, I was a bit wild. Poor mum and dad and I'll say, “mum and dad” that's what I call them if I wanna talk about my mum I'll say, “biological mum”, but Mum and dad... I put them through so much grief. You know I got into drinking at a very early age, and ended up later on to get into drugs and alcohol. And I was just wild, but I was lost. You know I had this hole inside of me that I had to fill and that's what the drugs and alcohol, in particular alcohol, did for me.
Patty:
Of course.
Rachael:
I got into all sorts of stuff and you know God loves them, they stood by me!
Patty:
Did they?
Rachael:
Yeah, and to this day you know Mum always says to me, she only said last week. “I'm so proud of you, Bubs. You know we love you so much.” You know I've got a great relationship with my family.
Patty:
That's incredible, that's incredible. Well, it's very common, isn't it? For drugs and alcohol to fill a void, especially a traumatic one where you were taken from your kin, from your blood, from your bloodlines, from your family of origin. Just like that.
Rachael:
Yeah, and I see it, of course, in my work today and the work that I've done, and you know, I see it with everyone in your heart, my heart goes out to people you know and unfortunately, you can't give insight to people.
If you could buy it at a shop, you know I'd be broke, mate. But you know, it's just very difficult and I see my people and white people too, go through the trauma of that stuff, the abandonment and then you carry those issues into life, which is what I certainly did. I think it was, realistically, if I'm looking at the last 10 years that I actually came at some more peace within myself.
Patty:
Well, I imagine you would have been continuously retriggered with your trauma from finding out who your biological dad was from dealing with the death of your biological mum, from growing up, and I'm assuming in the 70s and 80s, I'm assuming that you were the recipient of some racist slurs.
Rachael:
Yeah, 100%. When I was at school when I was little, everyone used to call me “Cooney” and “Abo” and that sort of stuff. That wasn't fun. I was quite happy when 'Coon’ cheese got changed.
It's not that it triggers me to go, “Oh, I'm gonna go and, you know, take drugs or whatever”. It's just that it brings through that thought of how you were, how you were treated. You know, and how you different growing up in Lugarno where I did was a very white, ‘well to do’ area so but that dissipated as I got older and as I got fairer.
Patty:
Oh, really??
Rachael:
Yeah, as I've got fairer and it's funny because in my DOCS papers it said when they came to visit me. Thank you very much, ohh you know “subject child”, because that's what you're called, “subject child is appearing to get whiter”.
Well, this was in winter, and you know, and “appears to be blending in with her family, assimilating into her family”. So I'm glad to see that I was helping them with their ‘assimilation policy’.
Patty:
So how often would you get visited by DOCS? The artist formerly known as the ‘Department of Children Services’?
Rachael:
By the looks of it from my paperwork, it was probably about 3 or 4 times, and I think once they (mum and dad) had formally adopted me, which I think they were offered after about a year or so, and after that, that was sort of it.
Patty:
It OK, yeah I understand. And what about the vicarious trauma? You also worked for DOCS, funny that we've mentioned them, who is now known as version 2.0, maybe even 3 or 4.0 of DCJ, and you worked in Child Protection for a very long time. Would that vicarious trauma also retrigger a lot of your own grief that was in your own cellular memory?
Rachael:
Ah, look, it was like a bit of self-punishment. But you know, I'm glad that I did it now, and obviously there was a reason for it in my psyche somewhere, but yes, it was 100%.
I think it was my first day after CDC training, I had to go and remove a child that I knew vaguely. The family, as I knew of them in the community, and that was, you know, just because you're the black fella there, that's what they want you for.
Patty:
I've also worked in Child Protection, and if I knew the family, I'd simply say “this is a conflict of interest, I can't go”. You didn't have that option.
Rachael:
No, and I think it was because it was a community sort of thing and I don't think they really understood that back in the day. But yeah, most of the time that's what you would say. “Conflict of interest”.
Patty:
I know that the thing that triggers us most can often heal us. Was it also a cathartic experience for you?
Racahel:
Yes, and that's something that I realised when I moved on to work in another job. What good it hadactually done me.
Patty:
In what way?
Rachael:
Well, I think I was forced to think about a lot of things. Looking back now I was forced to confront myself with my past and have to, you know you've just gotta work that stuff out in your head. And that's what happened. I grieved. I grieved in those years, and I still went on to grieve at the tag end of that. But I think mainly, that really did get a lot of that stuff out of my system.
Patty:
Yes, certainly. You also mentioned that you had 4 brothers. One thing you haven't mentioned is that one of them had Cerebral Palsy, which means that you were a young carer as well. What did that entail for you?
Rachael:
Yes, I was my eldest brother, Mick. What's he now has got to be? About 66 so I reckon.
Patty:
That's a bit of a bit significant age difference between you 2.
Rachael:
Yeah, and they go down by 2my brothers
Patty:
Your mum was quite systematic and all.
Rachael:
Haha yes, she was very systematic about that, and then there was a bit of an age gap and mum had cancer and she had to have a hysterectomy. That's why she couldn't have any more children, so she desperately wanted a girl and got me.
So, Mick, yeah, had cerebral palsy from a brain hemorrhage when he was a couple of days old, and fully in a wheelchair and can't walk or talk, but of course we can understand him.
Patty:
And your mum didn't want to put him into care, did she?
Rachael:
No, 100% no. Look, people were all doctors, and everyone was like, “this is what we recommend you do...” and all our friends and, I don't think all her friends, but just some associates, were saying that and my mum's a very determined strong woman. Should have been a black fella.
Patty:
Well, it seems like you were both aligned in that level of tenacity that you both share.
Rachael:
Yeah, 100% {giggles} and I think I get a lot of that from her as well, yeah. But you know, we looked after Mick, and that's what it was. Mum's 1st husband left, and it left mum on her own and you know back then, like they broke all his arms and legs and cut into his neck and my dad was saying the other day like he said, “there's nothing more heartbreaking, Bubs than like seeing Mick there, you know, all his arms and legs broken...”, and it was just would have been horrific.
Patty:
When you say “They broke his arms and legs...” The doctors? With the intention of trying to help him?
Rachael:
Yeah. I guess that they thought it might have been something they could fix with that, but obviously that that wasn't what it was. And now there's physiotherapy and all that sort of stuff.
Patty:
Yes, there's OT. And there’s physio now, isn't there?
Rachael:
Yep. Yep.
You know Mum was very determined. er boss at the Bardwell Park RSL bought him his first wheelchair and look, we had a great childhood in that sense that you know Mick was independent. We’d go up the shops together, or he’d go up the shop and have a little note with him, and everyone knew him.
Mum really put him out there in the community but, she did a hell of a lot and still does at 87 this year. She advocates for him pretty much 24/7, even though he's got Cerebral Palsy Alliance and NDIS, it's a daily job.
Mick's always been really socialised compared to a lot of his mates that went to what they used to call the “Spastic Centre”.
Patty:
Remember that? How awful I used to drive past one and think that's just a horrible, horrible way to label people. It's inaccurate and really, really derogatory.
Rachael:
Yep, and that's how it was back in those days, you know.
Patty:
It was, yeah. And so, what sort of care did Mick need at the time? Did he need help showering? Going to the bathroom? Eating?
Rachael:
Yeah, so Mick needed everything as he couldn't walk or talk so he was always showered and bathed, which basically did and later, when Mum was to marry my dad, and I was about 7 or 8 I think, dad was to take over that role, but my brothers and I did it and mum.
I didn't so much shower him. He doesn't like that.
Sometimes I take him to the toilet, but yeah, he didn't really like that either, but you know I did that. I used to clean his wheelchair for $2.00 a week, but you know, it was a big job.
When I look back now and it's just something you live with, and it's something, I mean it was more on everyone else than me because I was so young. Mick and I were always out and about and he had a cab driver that we used to go everywhere so. So yeah, it was. You don't look at it as a responsibility, do you?
Patty:
Not when that's all you know, and you don't. Know any different right?
Rachael:
You don't, it's just, it's just part of your life. But obviously I look at mum and I just think now you're bit of a hero mate, because like she's still doing everything today. Like you know, she has to deal with the solicitors and blah blah Centrelink. And I know what Centrelink is like.
Patty:
Is that a role that you're going to inherit when your mum will no longer do it?
Rachael:
Yes, so someone has to inherit that role. And I think that I would like to do that role, but that will be a family discussion.
Patty:
Of course, because you'll need assistance from your other brothers as well. Won't you?
Rachael:
Yeah, and I think one of the brothers will be in charge financially and then it'll probably be up to myself and maybe my sister-in-law with the other stuff with Mick. So that's something I keep pushing Mum to talk about.
Patty:
Things like ‘Power of Attorney’ ‘Enduring Guardian’the ‘Will’ and managing finances?
Rachael:
Yeah
Patty:
It is important
Rachael:
Because it's a massive responsibility all that sort of stuff. Just like every day, I talk to mum and she says, “I'm just doing this with your brother and dad's just taking him to the dentist and blah blah blah”.
I'm like God, you guys are busy.
Patty:
They always are. It's never ending. It's relentless.
Knowing what you know now about the supports that Carer Gateway can offer, what do you wish you had access to that was missing from your life back then, as a young carer?
Rachael:
I think because the only time we ever associated with anyone with Cerebral Palsy was like, Mick’s bus driver, and then and sometimes we’d go to events. But that was very rare. I wish that there had been more of a social aspect. Yeah, to support normalisation out in the community.
Patty:
So, like peer support?
Rachael:
Yes, that sort of stuff, and especially more support for mum as in that physical help
Patty:
Like having a care worker or a support worker come and assist her?
Rachael:
Yes. 100% Because that must have taken a big toll dad. Now they just come back from a cruise. Actually all 3of them and poor dad got COVID, so mum was pushing Mick around in the wheelchair on the cruise, but the staff helped out, and I mean that is a massive physical job.
Patty:
Yeah, I imagine that you'd also find people from within the community that will come out of the woodwork and say “Hi, would you like some assistance? Can I offer to help?”
Rachael:
Yeah, 100%, and that's what happened on the boat, and that's always happened with Mick
Patty:
That you'll find the best in people that will come out?
Rachael:
Yeah, definitely yeah. People have done some amazing things for me like is a massive Rabbitohs supporter. You know he's gone and. He's been on a weekend away with them.
Patty:
Oh that's extraordinary. That's a bucket list, tick if ever I’ve heard of one
Rachael:
That IS a bucket list! I wish I could meet them now.
{both giggle}
Patty:
And what about peer support? Because there are options to go away for a day or a couple of days and attend some in person workshops, but that's not a viable option for all carers, so we also have peer support groups as supports for a 1-hour online workshop or a 2-hour workshop or a weekly occurrence. Would that be something that would have benefited your mum at the time, as well? Keeping in mind that it was the 80’s and we didn't have a computer back then.
Rachael:
Or they were massive, like the size of a house.
{both giggle}
Ohh 100%, I think that would have been a massive support to my mother. I also do think it's what made her really resilient.
Patty:
She had to be.
Rachael:
But you don't need to put people through that now. 100% I think if she definitely had the support of her friends and everything, but I think people going through the same thing, she didn't really have that support.
Because as I said, most of Mick’s mates at the Cerebral Palsy Alliance and the "Spastic” centre, were in care, because the parents couldn't physically care for them for whatever reason.
Patty:
Well, they didn't have the capacity, did they?
Rachael:
No no.
Patty:
Yeah, and that's an important note to really mention here. Well, not every person who has a care recipient or a loved one that needs care, has the capacity to provide the care that your mum and you and your siblings did.
Rachael:
No, and I think you know you're looking at a lot of health issues. Yes, mental health issues. It's a big job that often goes thankless. You know, unseen really by the community who don't understand.
Patty:
Yes, it's not visible. It's not given positive reinforcement like a doctor or a lawyer.
Rachael:
No, and it would be great if you could see more of that stuff I think on TV and now what I do find really good, is now I see people that are in Group homes which I don't find heartwarming. But anyway, they're in Group home, but I do see a lot of people out and about.
Especially where I live in Campbelltown, there are quite a few disability homes and that obviously around. I do see people out and about and I think that's great. That makes a big difference, yeah?
Patty:
Representation is important. We need to see people like us on TV and this is part of the goal of the podcast as well, definitely. As someone who is connected to many different indigenous and First Nations communities, what are some of the barriers that exist when it comes to carers receiving the support they need, and how can we narrow that gap as a community as a culture and even a sub sector of cultures?
Rachael:
I think a lot of it is that the majority comes down to, they just don't know. There's not enough information out there.
Patty:
How can we get the information to them?
Rachael:
I think one of the biggest things that we need is the push from the... It'll have to come from the NGO's. The government you know, do whatever they do from the NGO’s to get really connected in with those Aboriginal medical services, those sort of things.
And other organisations to become more aware. The thing like Carer Gateway is doing this week, like going to Yabon, yeah OK, so have your stool there and have a yarn to people, and I've done that.
Patty:
Going to NAIDOC events as well?
Rachael:
Yep, going to NAIDOC events. Getting out there for all these events. Every event you can think of, the more you get out there, the better, and that will help Aboriginal people have that conversation.
And also connected with is a bit of shame and “I don't want to ask” because all white people think that we ask and get you know free cars and stuff.
Patty:
Yeah, that happens in a lot of different cultures as well. It's shameful to ask for help, isn’t it?
Rachael:
Yeah 100% yeah so that's a big part of it. So yeah, I do think that getting out there and being visible, such as more ads on television
Patty:
Do they have access to those ads as well? Because I personally don't watch TV, I don't have access to it.
Rachael:
Yeah, well, that's right, you know. Well, that's right in saying that so, and you're talking about remote communities and all that sort of stuff. It's work needs to be done around those where people are getting out and about more and having those conversations with people.
Patty:
So, do you agree that carers need their own Mob for support and need more? Access to what they can actually have assist them?
Rachael:
Yes 100%. Yeah our Mob understands it and also, it's educating our mob. It's that whole circle that comes around, so yeah.
Patty:
But with Sydney Metropolitan in many ways, it's easier. What about our brothers and sisters out in the Outback?
Rachael:
Yeah, well, that's right. And that's where the problems lie. And that's why I think we need to, you know, that stuff can be part of education as well. Getting our kids into the sector.
Rather than just, you know DOCS (DCJ) because a lot of more go into that and do Child Protection. Get people into the disability sector. You know, for people at DOCS (DCJ) get you know, do secondments to places if you're in working in that government system, different secondments to different places.
Patty:
What about having access to Elders? So instead of incarcerating young people, sending them to Country to live with Elders?
Rachael:
Yeah, 100% and I believe they do this up in Darwin way. There's been a trial about it so. Like say, I think your sentences is for a year or whatever, you go out on Country, and you stay there for about a year living the old ways, living our ways.
And apparently, it's been quite successful, and the problem is you see a lot of black fellas coming from Moree and all around down to Sydney to be incarcerated. You're way away from your Mob, and then you're going to get stuck in that little Mob that's in jail. You know what I mean? Cause you haven't got anyone that's talking to you every couple of days from your own Mob.
Patty:
Or supporting you more importantly.
Rachael:
Yeah, yeah 100%
Patty:
Now you live with your partner, Mary your dog and your cat. When it comes to families in the LGBTQI+ community specifically, do you have any words of wisdom you can share or speak of any gaps that need to be addressed when accessing services?
Rachael:
Yeah again, I think ohh gee, I would have loved some services when I was younger. You know, my mum my mum didn't cope very well with me coming out. And Mum always said to me, I just wanted a girl. You know you know what I mean? So, for me I look back now and. I think I wish I had someone to talk to.
Patty:
Like a counsellor? Or someone from your community?
Rachael:
Counsellor, Mob or actually, there wasn't really anyone.
Patty:
Both maybe?
Rachael:
Yeah, a bit of both. You know the stuff with Mob is coming forward a lot now because it wasn't quite accepted in the Aboriginal community. But it's a lot better now.
Patty:
OK, that was my next question actually.
Rachael:
Yeah, so that's has taken a long time, but it is getting a hell of a lot better than what it was. I did have a counsellor, when I was about 19 or 20, but it wasn't really talking about that stuff. It was sort of generic, but I just wish that I had someone that I could reach out to and say, "Look. I'm really struggling. My friends aren't talking to me.”
Patty:
And this is after you'd come out?
Rachael:
Yep. So, I came out at about, I don't know 16 or 17 and mum said to me, “Oh, it's just a phase you'll move on.” You know, and then it was very odd.
Patty:
And you did move on. With several other partners.
{both giggle}
Rachael:
Haha yes, that's right! So, I definitely wish that I'd had someone that I could talk to. Now I know there's a lot more services than that.
I know that kids have got a lot more access now, but the more visible things are, the more it's widely accepted. Just like disability.
Patty:
Again, representation! We need to see people thriving who are like us because they are our invisible mentors. It's neuroplasticity.
Rachael:
Yep, like ads and stuff
Patty:
Yes, that's exactly right.
Rachael:
More in media and more like ads and that sort of stuff. Sometimes they have people on ads, and I think, “ohh, who's that mate?! doesn't even look anything like it!” But you know what I mean?
Patty:
That's exactly right. And typecast in a way that is going to be positively reinforced.
Rachael:
That's right, yeah.
Patty:
Not just the token person that we make fun of in a sitcom.
Rachael:
That's right yeah, yeah.
Patty:
Yeah, that's exactly right, especially because you know in, within the LGBTQI+ community, there's still domestic violence. There's still issues that are very rampant, aren't there?
Rachael:
And I think that's something that people don't really understand. That I think are starting to understand a little bit more now.
Patty:
When you get triggered by comments regarding Aboriginal people or LGBTQI+ communities, what do you do?
Rachael:
Look, I'm a proud Black woman lesbian now. I mean, look, I'm not out and about going “I’m a lesbian everyone, hello!!”, you know that sort of stuff.
But if people ask me, I've worked through a lot of that stuff, so I don't care about that and I'd like to see it be more spoken about and accepted. It's more my generation and up, that has a bit of a problem with that stuff as well.
Patty:
What do you do? Do you sit down and chat? Do you educate them, or do you let things go?
Rachael:
No, education to me is a big thing, and I will question people. But it also depends on how much they've annoyed me. {giggles}
Sometimes I let things go, and I used to get it a bit when I was younger like “oh you're a leso!”. You know stuff like that got said, sometimes it goes over you, but most of the time I'll sit down and educate.
Like I said to the girls, the workers the other day talking about Yabon, the more that you yarn with your people while you're out at a barbecue on Australia Day, the more education we're gonna get, that's how it happens. It's the power of the people and conversation.
Patty:
I see I see. What can us white folk do to be better allies to First Nations peoples?
Rachael:
I think have a yarn. I think a lot of it is and I see this at work often like there's a black fella there, you know, working whatever, and people just get a little bit tongue tied and a little bit you know that sort of stuff.
Have a chat with us, ask us questions, listen, and not just hearing. And I think one of the biggest things is don't read into the stereotype stuff. We are not like that. I could say that about white people. You know what I mean, or about anyone.
Patty:
Well, you essentially grew up with two cultures.
Rachael:
Yeah 100%.
Patty:
You have that lived experience.
Rachael:
And it's the same in in any community. It's just that we're targeted more and that's the reality about it, because that's just the way that it is. Have a yarn with people and listen to their stories.
Try to have a bit of understanding and put yourself in that situation, I'm talking to the audience here that had that old mentality of thinking, you know.
And I think in order to get along, but I ask the questions. “What can we do? What do you think we can do? Maybe we could work on that. Let's have a talk to blah blah.”
Patty:
Let's go into some rapid fire wrap up questions. This is going to be. Good OK, OK. If you're a superhero, who would you? Be and why?
Rachael:
Superman
Patty:
I see that.
Rachael:
Yeah, I like to fly everywhere. I often have dreams of flying. Hmm, so I enjoy that and I'll be able to fix a lot of things.
Patty:
Do you eat or drink soup?
Eat.
Patty:
Which means you like chunky soup?
Rachael:
Yes yes 😊
Patty:
Oh how nice! A woman close to my own heart. What has been the highlight for you this month?
Rachael:
Oh, I think my partner Mary and her mum's coming over to stay with us for a couple of months from Fiji. So really looking forward to that. I've really loved the sun and I just want more of it.
Patty:
What's your biggest regret if you have any?
Rachael:
Don't have a lot of regrets, but I would say. It would have to be drugs and alcohol.
Patty:
Yeah, which of your 5senses is your strongest one?
Rachael:
My mouth
Patty:
So, your taste, is that what you're saying?
Rachael:
Yeah yeah, I love food. Love it all. Different cultures love everything. I'm one of those people that get stuck on something, like my first thing was chicken schnitzel when I was like you know, 15 and I ate that for a year. You know, I get really stuck on things.
So, at the moment it's Lebanese food and then I'll go to Chinese, actually, that’s the biggest! I so love Chinese, I should have been Chinese. Maybe my Mob came from up there. 😊 {giggles}
Patty:
Rachel, you are a delight. Thank you for joining us today.
Rachael:
Thank you.
Patty:
I could talk to Rachel for hours and actually, I still have a myriad of questions to ask her. As you probably heard, she's brutally honest and raw with how she shares her story.
She's also generous and full of grace in spite of everything that she's been through. For those of us who thought that the Stolen Generation of First Nations people happened a long time ago, well, at the time of this recording, Rachel had only turned 52 years young a week earlier. It wasn't that long ago and the effects that this has had on her life are still very current today.
On the 13th of February in 2008, Prime Minister at the time, Kevin Rudd, made a formal apology to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, particularly to the Stolen Generations, whose lives had been blighted by past government policies of forced child removal and assimilation.
But as a nation and as individuals, we still have a long way to go, not only to be allies for the indigenous community, but to make amends for the trauma that is still being experienced today. Rachel's story as it stands now has a happy ending. She lives with her beautiful partner Mary, in a loving community that is accepting of their LGBTQI+ identity.
Her role as her brother's carer will only increase in the next few years, and her role as an Aboriginal Engagement Practitioner will continue to teach us how we can be better informed, and how we can do better as individuals and as members of subcultures.
If this story was as profound for you as it has been for me. I'd love it if you could share it. By doing this, as well as giving us a 5-star rating, you help us ensure that this important message can be shared with the wider community, because it needs to be told. Until we meet again. Be safe, be well and be happy.
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Billy:
If you are caring for a relative or a friend who has a disability, a mental health condition, a life limiting health or medical condition, or they are frail because they're getting older. Please contact us at Carer Gateway on one 1800 422 737 or look us up on www.carergateway.gov.au
If you are a carer, you're allowed to take time to look after yourself. You are just as important as the person you take care of.