Patty Kikos interviews Dianne Mangley, who shares her incredibly inspiring journey of her cancer diagnosis. Dianne’s sense of humour is infectious, and her resilience is tenacious as she outlines how caring for her dad who had cancer inspired her to become a nurse, and despite her mum’s mental illness, has found it in her heart to not only forgive her, but care for her as she navigates dementia. GUEST: Dianne Mangley https://www.gateway.org.au The Pink Foundation https://www.thinkpink.org.au/ The McGrath Foundation https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/ The Breast Cancer Network Australia https://www.bcna.org.au/ SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow Patty on Instagram Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook CREDITS: Host – Patty Kikos Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc Sound Engineer – John Hresc GET IN TOUCH: Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier. You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Patty Kikos interviews Dianne Mangley, who shares her incredibly inspiring journey of her cancer diagnosis. Dianne’s sense of humour is infectious, and her resilience is tenacious as she outlines how caring for her dad who had cancer inspired her to become a nurse, and despite her mum’s mental illness, has found it in her heart to not only forgive her, but care for her as she navigates dementia.
GUEST:
Dianne Mangley https://www.gateway.org.au
The Pink Foundation https://www.thinkpink.org.au/
The McGrath Foundation https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/
The Breast Cancer Network Australia https://www.bcna.org.au/
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Follow Patty on Instagram
Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram
Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook
Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook
CREDITS:
Host – Patty Kikos
Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc
Sound Engineer – John Hresc
GET IN TOUCH:
Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier.
You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au
Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Dianne
In the first lot of chemo, it was Charlie's 18th birthday and they all got fried chicken, and I just wanted to lie there and throw up.
Patty
Oh, because the chemo had made you sick, I imagine.
Dianne
Ohh it did.
Patty
Is there something you know now that you wish you knew back then?
Dianne
So much I really wish we had Carer Gateway!
Patty
Of course, it wouldn't have existed back then.
Dianne
Then no, it didn't. It didn't, and I would have gotten my husband into the support groups. I would have gotten the kids into the young carer groups, as they had just watched their best friends’ mum die and were terrified. I was going to.
The tailored support package would have been fantastic. As what I used to do was cook 14 meals and freeze them in the final week of my chemo cycle when I wasn't ill, so I'd be prepared for when that treatment knocked me out.
I was so neutropenic I had to inject myself with a drug that makes you produce more neutrophils. I was immunocompromised, so that meant a few times I had to be hospitalised with infections, which created a huge strain onto our family. But those drugs are painful as your bones expand and I've never felt pain like that.
Patty
I can only image. And I mean, I know you say that you love cooking and you're very creative in the kitchen, but when you have to cook when you're feeling unwell, it's a completely different story, isn't it? I mean, what would you have done with the tailored support package, for instance?
Dianne
I would have arranged for someone to come and clean and prep meals, as well as take advantage of all that coaching and counselling.
We were living on one wage, so the kids missed out. They could have benefited from the tutoring programs that Carer Gateway had. Yeah, as well as the events that the Peer Support and the Young Carers offer.
It just would have made such a huge difference to our lives to have all those supports there in place.
---
Billy
From the Carer Gateway at the Benevolent Society, we welcome you to, Carer Conversations with your host Patty Kikos.
The Carer Gateway is the Australian Government national care hub and provides reliable services, support and advice especially for carers.
This podcast is where we share interviews with guests that have specialized knowledge to help support carers to look after their emotional, mental and physical well-being.
We are recording on Aboriginal country, on lands which were never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands and waters. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders, past and present.
Always was, always will be.
---
Patty
Welcome to our beloved ‘Carer Conversations’ podcast my fabulous carers and listeners.
In a few moments, I’m going to introduce you to Dianne Mangley who is an incredible woman with an infectious enthusiasm for life and a heart of gold.
She’s also traversed many adventures in life, from losing her father to cancer when she was a teenager, to living with a mum who had a mental illness, fleeing a violent relationship, losing 2 babies to miscarriages, and finally, to surviving breast cancer herself.
Dianne is passionate about supporting people and connecting them together. She believes that if you can help someone to have a better life, then you need pitch in and help out.
She loves travelling but hates flying, loves cooking, but has an unhealthy obsession with cookbooks and cooking programs, and she even named her last child after a well-known TV chef!
She collects kids, animals and grandmas and keeps them all under the one roof with her, in an unconventional household with her equally eccentric husband.
Dianne
Ohh thanks Patty! Well, I was born in Australia. I went back to the UK when I was 10 and I got teased for my Australian accent, so I manfully changed it to an English one. Huh.
Patty
How dare they? 😊 And you're nothing like your accent. So, you sound very posh, but you're not. You're very down to earth.
Dianne
Haha. I don't think I'm posh.
Patty
Did you have elocution lessons?
Dianne
Ohh I did when I was in a private girls' school over in England. Yes, that's probably made a a slight difference.
Patty
When did you move back to Australia?
Dianne
We came back here 12 years ago in 2012.
Patty
Why did you choose to become a nurse?
Dianne
Well, I chose to become a nurse because from the age of 13 to 16, my dad had lung cancer and I nursed him.
My friend's mom really encouraged me to do something with my life and to go into nursing. Then my mom unfortunately really struggled with my dad's death. She went off to find another bloke, several in fact.
So, there was a really fractured relationship. And then I dated an older man that resulted in a domestic violence situation that I had to get out of.
Patty
Ohh, that's a lot. That's so much to unpack. I mean, you were grieving, so that would have impacted the choices that your mum and even you made. Did you recognise that this was trauma at the time?
Dianne
No, no, I didn't.
Patty
Do you now?
Dianne
I certainly do, absolutely!
Because my mum didn't know what to do with me when I left school at 16.
Patty
I mean, that's young!
It's really young! That's what you do in England. You finish your O levels and then you go to college to complete your A levels.
Patty
I always wondered what O levels and A levels were.
Dianne
Well, now you've had a great explanation, haven't you? {both laugh}
Patty
So back to your mum.
Dianne
She'd unlikely dealt with the grief that she had experienced, her own grief, and she also had some mental health issues herself from her childhood.
Patty
I can only imagine that it would have felt like a double abandonment for you. How did your mum's mental health issue show up for you at the time?
Dianne
Honestly, Patty, I've only just realised now that her behaviour was not what you'd expect of a mum.
Patty
Patty
Like what for instance?
Dianne
She never tried to develop any relationships with my children, and she bought a place out in Portugal and took off when I was. 19 well.
Patty
Ideally, that sounds fantastic for a summer getaway.
Dianne
It was, much later, but when I was pregnant with my firstborn, and I was really nervous because I'd already had a couple of miscarriages. She developed a relationship with a homeless man living in his car. She threatened to throw herself down the stairs when she didn't get her own way.
Patty
So, a lot of manipulative behaviour?
Dianne
A lot. And when I graduated as a nurse, she came to my graduate graduation and simply said you could have been a doctor.
Patty
Even though having a nursing qualification after dropping out of high school was a big milestone to be celebrated?
Dianne
Yeah, it certainly was. And when I had my second son and almost lost him, and we had to spend time with him in the NICU and take care of my 14 month old at the same time as well instead of supporting me, he was more concerned about the fact that she had nowhere else to live after her trip to Portugal and she was with yet another man who I felt very uncomfortable around. And because I had no boundaries, I let them move in with me.
Patty
Boundaries, that's a big one. We'll unpack that in a moment. But how did that go at the time?
Dianne
Ah, terribly! They had to leave after a couple of months. It's always been about her, and it's been a journey for me to see that she has a narcissistic personality disorder.
Patty
Yeah. It's very difficult for a child to come to terms with the fact that their parent might be exhibiting narcissistic traits. And I mean by this stage, even though the language would not have necessarily existed at the time, you had actually been a carer for both of your parents and perhaps you didn't even realise.
But I know that there's actually a plot twist, one possibly more at one stage of your children needed care. And you then went on to love and care for more children than the ones that came out of your uterus. Why don't you tell me a little bit about them.
Dianne
I would love to. So, my first born is Will, and he's very introverted. He's incredibly funny. He's a true leader who likes to fly under the radar. Then I had Charlie and at 20 weeks I was told he had a heart issue, but after testing we found that half his diaphragm was missing and he had a rare condition called a congenital diaphragmatic hernia.
Patty
What's that?
Dianne
And that's when part of the diaphragm is actually missing. So, everything in the abdominal cavity slips up into the chest cavity and it stops the left lung from developing for Charlie. And that's why he was in the NICU as his heart was also compromised.
Patty
And so, you were caring for your little baby and you were a nurse, so you knew how dangerous and serious this condition was. That’s a lot.
Dianne
It was. And there was more because at 11 we found out that he had Asperger's and he'd gone for a play date and the the mum was an OT, and she said to me that your boy has Asperger's like my boy.
Patty
And you had no idea?
Dianne
I have no idea at all. He was just Charlie. Yeah. So that was a lot. Hence why it took her a while for us to have more kids as we were worried about the CDH. And I didn't want to go through that again as it was so traumatic.
Patty
I can imagine it really was.
Dianne
And between you and I, none of the kids were planned. They were all happy surprises, especially to my husband. {both laugh}
Patty
So, tell me, who ended up coming after Charlie?
Dianne
Ah, there's my Rosy Posy Tiddly Tosy.
Patty
And there's that English accent again. {both laugh}
Dianne
Which was a shock as I was told she was a boy.
Patty
Really?
Dianne
Yes, I was told I was having a boy. So yeah, that was definitely a shock when she came out and we didn't even have any boys' clothes. So that was very interesting.
Patty
You mean you didn't have any girls' clothes?
Dianne
Ohh yes, girl's clothes.
Patty
Ohh goodness.
Dianne
Yeah, my beautiful girl. And then Jamie, who we affectionately called the Feral One. He's a beautiful soul. He definitely dances to the beat of his own drum like a free spirit that he is.
Patty
Quick question, did you name Jamie after Jamie Oliver?
Dianne
Yeah, I might have done {both laugh}
Patty
Now, as the caring soul that you are, as a carer, both officially and unofficially, who never planned to have kids and now wants them all. Did you collect any extras along the way?
Dianne
I did, yes. So little Matty, lived around the corner from us in England. And he was actually bullying Charlie at school.
Patty
So, most moms would go over and make this family accountable, but you then actively supported him.
Dianne
Yeah, you could see he was from a broken home. His mum was very emotionally unstable and my husband, Jeremy, got him into the rugby team and holiday camps and he's in a different way now.
I also collected Laura along the way as I was working as a sister in charge when she was a carer. And we actually brought her to Australia. So, she was struggling with a few issues and she's now a qualified nurse who runs a business with my first born well. And I've also got my nephew staying with us, who's an absolute delight.
Patty
That’s tremendous. Di. You've cared for and continue to care and support so many people. Have you ever needed to be cared for? And they do say that it's always those that care so much for others that make the worst possible patients, especially when they might be doctors or nurses. Is there any truth in that?
Dianne
Ah. Definitely. I was the worst. My husband Jez will testify to that. In September 2014, I was about to fly off to England for my first trip home after we'd moved here, and I was taking Rosie and Jamie with me. I looked in the bathroom mirror and a voice that I heard said breast cancer.
So, my husband dismissed it as it, as I'd had no lumps, and it was just a voice, and it was just really weird.
Patty
In hindsight. Would you say this was your intuition?
Dianne
Definitely! Always listen to it? So, I go to England and I meet up with my mum, who tells me that she has breast cancer.
Patty
Ohh parallel lives.
Dianne
And I assumed that's what the voice meant. So, I came back. I got a mammogram just to be at peace.
Patty
Thank goodness.
Dianne
And lo and behold, after 2 mammograms and then when they did the ultrasound, I could actually see the tumor myself. And I said to the radiographer, “Ohh wow. I've got breast cancer!” and I nearly freaked her out.
Patty
Well, she wouldn't have known that you're a nurse. And then what happened?
Dianne
It was Friday afternoon, and I called my husband to tell him to take Monday off. As expected, this happened and I called my husband to accompany both of us for extra support, much to my husband's irritation as he still wouldn't believe it.
Patty
So, he didn't want to take a day off? Is that what it was?
Dianne
He definitely didn't want to take a day off. He was far too busy.
Patty
And did you get the official diagnosis?
Dianne
Yes, I did. And we were new to the health system in Australia and the receptionist, Kerry, she'd gone through all that and she gave me all her contacts and her surgeon, and that's how people with breast cancer support each other.
Patty
Yeah, through contacts, through referrals. This would have been such a shock to your system.
Dianne
It was, and on Wednesday I was in surgery and because we hadn't been able to save any money, my cousin paid for the cost, including the gap for the anesthetist, which we didn't even know about things like that.
Patty
When you say Wednesday, do you mean 2 days later?
Dianne
Yes, 2 days later.
Patty
Ohh my goodness. What did the surgery entail?
Dianne
Well, so I've had a right sided mastectomy and I've had lymph node clearance when my lymph nodes and my right arm had to be removed as my cancer had already spread down to the first lymph node.
Patty
You don't do anything by halves even with your cancer!
Dianne
Definitely not.
Patty
Are there any other side effects today, Di?
Dianne
So, I live with lymphedema, which means I have excessive swelling on my right arm.
Patty
Because you don't have the lymph nodes, right?
Dianne
Yeah, there's no lymph nodes there to drain away the lymphatic for fluid.To make matters worse, but to make matters more intense, it was also a few days before Christmas, and as usual, I wasn't organised and 3days after my surgery, I made Laura take me shopping to go and get all the kid’s presents.
Patty
So, you refused to outsource that?
Dianne
I’m very stubborn.
Patty
Yes. Oh well, that's why you've survived. You were determined to!
As someone who's used to being in charge of the person being cared for, how did it feel to be vulnerable? To be in pain? To be a patient that actually needed others to help her?
Dianne
Total frustration. Many tears. I was exasperated. And I was not very nice to be around.
Patty
Well, I can imagine needing to cry and to vent and to be frustrated. I don't know about you being unpleasant. I can't imagine it. How do posh people be unpleasant? {both laugh}
Dianne
Well, I was used to being the Queen and the Drill Sergeant and the President and the Commander in Charge because I always have been. And because it was such a quick process, there wasn't any time to prepare.
Patty
I need to ask you a leading question. Were you angry?
Dianne
Ohh yes, I was angry. And scared. Why me? Hadn't I been through enough? And I was still processing another trauma of grief in between that time with my friend Anne she was my soul sister.
We had our babies together. We went on holiday together. She had 4 kids under 10 and she died 2 weeks before I emigrated to Australia when I was trying to pack up the house to move countries, and she was only 37. And I was 44 at the time.
Patty
Ohh Di grief is like a portal. It doesn't end, it only uncovers more layers to heal and unpacks what hasn't been processed. How did you heal with your cancer and the journey of your friend’s grief?
Dianne
Well, I kept breaking before I healed, so if any carer is listening, please do not do what I did because 6 weeks later I broke my leg because I was actually trying to get healthy before I started chemo, and my body just wasn't ready to exercise.
Patty
You're kidding! So, it's like the universe had to conspire for you to actually stop. So, what you're telling me is that you went to chemo with a broken leg and a missing breast.
Dianne
You can't really make this up, can you?
Patty
No! What support did you then finally implement?
Dianne
My cousin and his wife were incredible, as was my friend. He came and did art therapy every Sunday with myself and my family. Laura really stepped up, and Will left Uni to care for his younger siblings as I couldn't drive due to the chemo and the broken leg.
In the first lot of chemo, it was Charlie's 18th birthday and they all got fried chicken, and I just wanted to lie there and throw up.
Patty
Oh, because the chemo had made you sick, I imagine.
Dianne
Ohh it did.
Patty
Is there something you know now that you wish you knew back then?
Dianne
So much I really wish we had Carer Gateway!
Patty
Of course, it wouldn't have existed back then.
Dianne
Then no, it didn't. It didn't, and I would have gotten my husband into the support groups. I would have gotten the kids into the young carer groups, as they had just watched their best friends’ mum die and were terrified. I was going to.
The tailored support package would have been fantastic. As what I used to do was cook 14 meals and freeze them in the final week of my chemo cycle when I wasn't ill, so I'd be prepared for when that treatment knocked me out.
I was so neutropenic I had to inject myself with a drug that makes you produce more neutrophils. I was immunocompromised, so that meant a few times I had to be hospitalised with infections, which created a huge strain onto our family. But those drugs are painful as your bones expand and I've never felt pain like that.
Patty
I can only image. And I mean, I know you say that you love cooking and you're very creative in the kitchen, but when you have to cook when you're feeling unwell, it's a completely different story, isn't it? I mean, what would you have done with the tailored support package, for instance?
Dianne
I would have arranged for someone to come and clean and prep meals, as well as take advantage of all that coaching and counselling.
We were living on one wage, so the kids missed out. They could have benefited from the tutoring programs that Carer Gateway had. Yeah, as well as the events that the Peer Support and the Young Carers offer.
It just would have made such a huge difference to our lives to have all those supports there in place.
Patty
Speaking of supports, do you still participate in your Cancer Support Groups?
Dianne
Yeah, I've still got a few connections that I maintain.
The YMCA Encore program is an 8-week program available to anyone that's beat breast cancer. And it's an exercise in educational program which is free.
There's also the McGrath Foundation, and they've got specific breast cancer nurses that support you during that time.
Patty
Did you have specific breast counselling?
Dianne
Nope!
Patty
Are you serious, Diane Mangley!?
Dianne
I didn't think I needed it. I thought I was indestructible.
Patty
Ah. I can understand that, but what about now? Would you do the same in hindsight?
Dianne
Nope. I would definitely get support now, right from the beginning. I would look for every possible form of support because not only was I grieving, I was also triggered by my body.
Because I had one breast left and that's a huge adjustment to your whole being. Certainly the way you feel about yourself, your sexuality and your relationship.
Patty
Yeah. I mean, even putting on 5 kilos can be a huge adjustment for your body depending on what sort of frame you have. How did you integrate and embody your healing with your body image cause I'm imagining that this would have been a big and long process.
Dianne
It is, but by being open about it, knowing I could trust my instincts when it came to my body, especially when advocating for myself with male GP’s.
And being honest and not afraid to have those conversations and using humour.
Patty
Which is also deflective.
Dianne
It is, but it also helps you connect with people and time gives you confidence. I couldn't wish that it happened over time when there were no shortcuts. Initially I would wear high neck tops, scarves and wigs and tried to have hide the fact that I was ill.
Patty
Why?
Dianne
I didn't want anybody's pity.
Patty
I see. And then over time, what changed?
Dianne
Ohh. I had 6 cycles of chemo 3 weeks apart over 18 weeks.
My life was on hold, and I was in survival mode, and you get to the point where you don't think you can do another cycle. And I just thought I can't do this, but by the end, I just didn't care. I was exhausted. I ditched the wig. I was just too tired to pretend to be well.
Patty
You know, Di, many of our clients have said the same thing. They get to a point where they just don't care.
Who got you through it?
Dianne
Ah, my husband Jez. He is the best.
Patty
Yeah?
Dianne
So, I don't usually openly show that affection to poor Jez.
Patty
That must be the English in you.
Dianne
Reserved? I don't know, but I'd actually put a comment on Facebook about how amazing he was and how much I love him and somebody at his workplace pointed this out, and he was just laughing and saying it's OK mate, she's just on drugs. {both laugh}
Patty
All this time your mum went through her own cancer journey. What is your relationship like with your mum now? Because I know that you're the only child, and I know she's still experiencing her mental health concerns.
Dianne
Ohh, so that's another story. So, post cancer she got run over in England so she now.
Patty
You broke your leg and she got run over? You cannot make this up.
Dianne
No, you can't! So, she now lives with us and I'm at peace with that because she has dementia. I have a lot of empathy because I've been through so much. And you know, I live a wonderful life that she never got to experience.
Patty
You could easily have become bitter and angry after your cancer journey. Or even before your cancer journey with everything that you've been through, but you didn't. Tell me about that.
Dianne
Nah, there's no room in my life to stay angry or bitter. Life is just too precious. You know, my husband Jez and the kids say, “Nope. It's not dementia. She's still just as selfish. She's just more intense and everything is still about her”. But it always was.
Patty
How do you deal with that? Because I can imagine that it's almost like exposure therapy. You've had it all your life, and even though you've built an extraordinary life for yourself here, is there a little girl inside you that thinks, hey, sometimes it just has to be about me?
Dianne
She's 85. You know, every weekend she's claimed to be dying, but she's made this allegation for the past 20 years. So, you know, it no longer has any power to guilt me. I'm like Teflon when it comes to emotional blackmail these days.
Patty
How do you protect your own mental health when you're caring for her?
Dianne
I seek support, so I seek the resources that are available to take the pressure off me.
Patty
Yeah. In what way?
Dianne
Well, Carer Gateway didn't exist back then when I had cancer, but it does now and we're also trying to get My Aged Care for her as you don't have to have Australian Residency to be eligible for that, it's like Carer Gateway.
Patty
So, it's important that if anyone is listening to get help, it's OK if you are not a citizen, this is important for everyone to know.
Dianne
It is. You really need it. And because my mom has a temporary visa, we pay for all the costs and that's why My Aged Care and Carer Gateway are just crucial. I'm her Power of Attorney in England and I need to get her Advanced Care Plan here. So, when she's got that RAZ assessment completed, we'll do that.
Patty
And you need to get her Power of Attorney here. And her Enduring Guardian here as well. So, you're not just here to be on the podcast and share your fabulousness with us. We're gonna give you some homework to do as well.
Dianne
Oh great.
Patty
Do you have advice for anyone that is navigating this journey with breast cancer, with a diagnosis, with having to process boundaries and deciding whether you're going to care for someone?
Because you've decided that you're going to continue caring for your mother, even though you had a fractured relationship. You know, you don't come to that decision of your own volition. Just like that. I imagine that it would take a lot of time and a lot of consideration.
Dianne
I think, Patty, it's just about being human. Yeah, we have to look out for somebody and we have to have that forgiveness. And if we don't put that care out there and that love, then why are we here?
Patty
Yeah, it's a fabulous point. Would you have any words of advice for any carer out there that has made a very conscious and mindful decision to relinquish caring for someone simply because they don't have the capacity?
Dianne
You have to do you, and you have to be aware of your limitations as well. We are not superhuman. The help is there for us. Don't carry that guilt with you. We can only do what we can do.
Patty
Yeah. Now, Diane, I have no choice but to reward you with some rapid fire wrap up questions. You know this, don't you?
Dianne
OK. All right. Do it!!
Patty
Now, this might seem a little bit odd, but what's a benefit you have from having had your life threatened with breast cancer?
Dianne
I don't think it's odd at all. You know, I wake up every day grateful for the day, and I notice the small things in nature especially. I've got so much more patience for people and situations, and I actually think it's an advantage to have had that cancer diagnosis. There's so much more meaning in life for me.
Patty
Now, would you say that it's also giving you a greater capacity that you didn't necessarily have before?
Dianne
Huge, completely changed.
Patty
Have you ever worked in a toxic work environment, and if so, what are your tips for dealing with it?
Dianne
Yes- several and I say run! Get out at the first sign, don’t doubt your instincts as I have. You are not paranoid or overreacting, people do exist out there that are jealous of your position and want it for themselves and unfortunately will plan and scheme to get their way, all the while being nice to your face. So sad that they think they can act in this way especially when you have been so supportive to them with their own personal issues, it feels like such a betrayal.
But you live & learn. To work with passion is fantastic and I’m lucky to have found a position where I can have that mutual energy in a team to create better lives for carers but who also value our out of work lives.
Patty
I agree with you. There's no point in staying in an environment that's toxic because it becomes insidious and then it seeps into other areas of your life. You become stressed before and after work, and then you have to recover and you don't recover because you're always anticipating that dread of going into work, it's not worth it. You're right. OK. This is a simple question, but maybe it's a loaded question. Diane, chocolate or vanilla?
Dianne
Vanilla, but needs to be a decent quality Patty, real vanilla essence, no artificial stuff. Thank you.
Patty
Really? You said what you said. OK, what is the strangest food combination that you enjoy?
Dianne
So cooking is a passion of mine, so I'll try most things. But fish chips, curry sauce and mushy peas is such a great combination in the UK, but I never see it here, so deep fried butter card with curry sauce is the best amazing food.
Patty
Really? OK.
What are your best traits, aside from your fabulous earlobes?
Dianne
My cooking lol. It's my love language. There's nothing better than connecting people.
Patty
So, when you say your love language, do you also like it when people cook for you?
Dianne
Yes, but only if it’s good. {both laugh}
Patty
If you could swap lives with someone for a day, who would it be and why?
Dianne
Well, it's obviously gonna be a chef, and that's Nagy. She is awesome. Not only does she have the best dog, Dozer, she gets to eat the most amazing food, but you know she uses her life to help others with her recipe ‘Tin Charity’, feeding the vulnerable and the homeless. I've been fortunate enough to meet her in person and she's the most gracious person with that energy and time and always thinking of others.
Patty
How did you manage to meet her in person?
Dianne
Ohh through a previous work position I it was just the best day ever and life fun girl.
Patty
Ohh I love it. Thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your beautiful, heartfelt wisdom.
Dianne
Thank you, Patty.
Patty
That is all we have time for today folks. If you think this would be a powerful interview to share with someone who could benefit from Dianne’s wisdom, please feel free to share it with them. Liking, subscribing and especially leaving us a 5 star review also ensures we get into the right listening ears and helps the podcast algorithm so we can support more carers.
When Dianne was diagnosed, she literally googled her suburb, along with the words “breast cancer support”, and was connected to local support groups, including online forums such as Facebook.
There are also national support groups such as The Pink Foundation, The McGrath Foundation, and the Breast Cancer Network Australia which we will include in the show notes.
Until we are back in your listening ears, we are sending you all the love and support. Please take extra good care of yourself.