Patty Kikos interviews Jack Lawton who is a psychotherapist and one of the counsellors at Carer Gateway in Sydney. They discuss what counselling is and what it’s not, what to expect from your session, along with some stories of what some carers have experienced through their counselling sessions. GUEST: Jack Lawton - https://www.carergateway.gov.au/ SOCIAL MEDIA: Follow Patty on Instagram Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook CREDITS: Host – Patty Kikos Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc Sound Engineer – John Hresc GET IN TOUCH: Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier. You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Patty Kikos interviews Jack Lawton who is a psychotherapist and one of the counsellors at Carer Gateway in Sydney. They discuss what counselling is and what it’s not, what to expect from your session, along with some stories of what some carers have experienced through their counselling sessions.
GUEST:
Jack Lawton - https://www.carergateway.gov.au/
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Follow Patty on Instagram
Follow The Benevolent Society on Instagram
Follow Carer Gateway on Facebook
Follow The Benevolent Society on Facebook
CREDITS:
Host – Patty Kikos
Producers – Patty Kikos and John Hresc
Sound Engineer – John Hresc
GET IN TOUCH:
Carer Gateway is proud to offer emotional and practical services and support for carers with the aim of making your life easier.
You can call us on 1800 422 737 to find out more about peer support groups, counselling, coaching, online skills courses, tailored support packages, emergency respite, other government supports, as well as tips and information, or visit our online home at www.carergateway.gov.au
Got some questions or thoughts for Patty or the team? Email us at cgconnections@benevolent.org.au and put ‘Attention Patty’ in the subject line.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
The Benevolent Society acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Patty
So this is not just counselling for the caring role, but also identifying support in other areas of your life, such as habits that might roll into personal relationships and family dynamics. Have you noticed a recurring or a common theme with carers and their boundaries or maybe lack thereof?
Jack
Yeah. Well, it's a great one to bring up because people in the caring role, they often have very caring hearts and put others needs first and that can be a lovely thing. But also, as one carer put it once to me, was “it’s as if I've got a sign above my head that says, ‘hey everyone, I'm a carer, if you need help ask me”. And this, she said, just wore her out.
So, boundaries come from knowing when you can say “yes” and when you can say “no” to things and having a healthy capacity to do both or feeling balanced in that, and that's something we can unpack in counselling and work out. What is the idea of saying no, what does that bring up for you and why is that difficult and how can we work on that.
Patty
That, and it's not always so binary. It's not always a matter of “yes or no”. Sometimes it's a matter of, “yes, just not now”.
Jack
Absolutely, yeah. And a great way to rethink what that can mean.
---
Billy:
From the Carer Gateway at the Benevolent Society, we welcome you to, Carer Conversations with your host Patty Kikos.
The Care Gateway is the Australian Government national care hub and provides reliable services, support and advice especially for carers.
This podcast is where we share interviews with guests that have specialized knowledge to help support carers to look after their emotional, mental and physical well-being.
We are recording on Aboriginal country, on lands which were never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands and waters. We pay our respects to Aboriginal elders, past and present.
Always was, always will be.
---
Patty
Hello my lovely listeners, how are you? I hope you enjoyed our previous episode on decluttering, and I loved reading your messages about what part of the decluttering process you’re up to.
If you’re finding these podcasts to be helpful to you, liking, subscribing and leaving us a 5-star review ensures we keep showing up for the people that most need to hear about us.
I’m thrilled to be connecting with you again today, and as per many of your popular requests, I will be chatting to you about the counselling services that Carer Gateway offers to carers.
Caring for a loved one is important work. Some days caring brings great joy, but some days it can be lonely or a little overwhelming. No matter how you feel today, there is a counselling professional that is just a phone call away.
The Carer Gateway Counselling Service is a free service for carers. Each weekday, from 8am to 6pm, our professional counsellors are waiting to talk through the concerns you have and how you feel about your carer role.
Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Jack Lawton who is a very heart-centred counsellor. He has a spark for all things related to nature, outdoors and adventure. Jack is a psychotherapist and more recently a counsellor with the Carer Gateway. His passion lies in supporting people to live a more contented life with themselves, and their environment.
Jack enjoys working with his horses whenever he gets the chance, (a background study in equine psychotherapy), but because he now lives in the city, you can find him riding his motorbike into the Blue Mountains or walking his dogs around the block.
Jack has a very calm, welcoming presence with. He believes change starts from self-understanding and acceptance, and he is committed to supporting people live their best lives.
Jack! How does it feel to be in the hot seat where I ask the questions?
Jack
Hi Patty! It’s a totally new experience, never done anything like this before so feeling some nerves. I don't know if I'm enjoying it yet, but I trust you Patty.
Patty
Ohh. That's good. That's gonna help. You know, I think it's gonna get better as we keep going because this is the only difference between what we normally do Jack, is that we've got a microphone in front of us today.
Jack
Yeah, it feels good. I'm excited to be here.
Patty
Good! Now you've got some great insights to share. Tell us a little bit about where you grew up.
Jack
I grew up on a on a cattle and sheep farm near a small country town in the northwest of NSW, a little town called Bundarra.
Patty
And you became a travel agent after you completed school. I think that you were such a good salesman, you sold yourself an 18-month trip and left to go travelling where you spent a year and a half backpacking around the world.
Jack
Yeah, it's seems like a long time ago now, but it was a lovely time in my life, a time of freedom and independence and exploration. And I had a wonderful time, a really good experience. I decided when the money ran out, time was time had sort of come to get back to Australia, started studying a Spanish linguistics degree, evolved into environmental arts degree.
Patty
That's a bit different.
Jack
Yeah, it was really just from being exposed to people in the university that inspired me into really following my instincts.
Patty
Did you do some more travelling after you finished university?
Jack
Yeah, I graduated and then did a trip to South America for around 8 months as well.
Patty
Do you still speak Spanish?
Jack
I do a little bit. Yeah. I also speak French. So, my Spanish language skills have definitely dropped off in the last few years.
Patty
Well, French is a harder language.
Jack
Well, I realised I had a bit of a thing for languages. I learned enough French on the first trip to get by and then Spanish on the second trip when I went to Peru and Argentina and Uruguay, but now my brain's very much back in French mode I got married to my French wife in 2022.
Patty
And do you speak French to your daughter as well?
Jack
Yeah, actually I do. It's something that's evolving. She's picking up words in in both English and French. And we speak to her at home as much as we can in French. I think it's special for me. I come from such a small country town, and I was quite inspired by my parents who were open minded, and they always told stories of their travels and I really wanted to learn and travel, and I think expanding my vocabulary really heightened my desire to connect with people. And it's now transcribed into my career, which is also quite nice.
Patty
Speaking of your career, tell me a little bit about your pivot into equine therapy and where you are today with that?
Jack
Hmm. So, I was working with horses and young adults with disabilities, and it really inspired me to learn more about how people and horses connect and how that can really have a therapeutic benefit for people. And it led me into studies into equine therapy, physiotherapy and then Gestalt psychotherapy. Yeah, so that's sort of how it transitioned.
Patty
So, does that mean you had to study for 4 years before you became a psychotherapist?
Jack
Yeah, it was a 4-year course and I qualified in March 2023. And yeah, I think the equine psychotherapy is definitely something I'd like to do in the future. Yeah, to have a private practice. And to expose people to this powerful therapeutic alliance, the horse human relationship. But for now, it's all about getting some experience in the city and growing from what's available now.
Patty
All the beautiful gifts. Well, how do you use your first environmental degree?
Jack
I think of it as a way of feeling connected to nature and using that as a resource, as a therapeutic resource, even to help ground to help feel safe, to help feel connected is something that can really have a benefit.
Patty
Feeling connected to the natural world is wonderful, and I'm sure you probably learned a lot about climate change as well.
Jack
Yeah, there was a lot on the change on our Earth and the science around that, the disconnect with our surroundings and. And it was tough. It was tough learning the truth of that. But I think it's really influenced my decision making now. It's really inspired me to connect to people on an individual level.
Patty
Yeah. I mean, one day in the future, it sounds like you want to have horses and some land to support people reconnecting through equine therapy. Would you ever live life off grid?
Jack
I think it is definitely a dream. I love the idea and I think I would like to have solar panels. I like to have enough space around. I grew up with such space, so that's something important to me. I think what I do want to maintain is a connection to the people around me, to the community where I'm living. So off grid? Maybe yes, but not in an isolated sort of context I think.
Patty
Maybe remotely, but not necessarily off grid?
Jack
Yeah, maybe remotely is even too far. I would go remote enough.
Patty
Well, fast forward to now. You work as a counsellor for Carer Gateway. And how is all of that going for you?
Jack
Yeah, I love it. I really love it. It's a great opportunity to connect with people that are really receptive to the support as often it's carers who often put others before themselves. So, when I step in and say “no, this is about you”, they're really receptive to that. And I'm very grateful to be able to connect with that and to learn amongst a really great team of counsellors.
Patty
You know, many of our listeners have had counselling sessions and some of them never have. For those that haven't and might have some questions about it or some preconceived notions about what it entails. Can you give us a definition of what counselling actually is?
Jack
Well, I googled it.
Patty
So did I.
{both giggle}
Patty
I didn't like it. But let's see what you've come up with.
Jack
Well, Google told me that counselling is the provision of professional assistance and guidance in resolving personal or psychological problems.
Patty
Do you think that's an adequate description?
Jack
It's very literal. I think it lacks a bit of humanness.
Patty
What would you say from your heart?
Jack
I think it's an opportunity for a human-to-human experience feeling a sense, we would hope feeling supported, heard, listened to, not judged. And a feeling of being connected to one another certainly. It's a conversation that results in an increased sense of one's mental health, or at least the potential for that, a greater sense of wellbeing or feeling understood.
Patty
Yeah, feeling seen, feeling validated. Yeah, I like that. Maybe we can also take a moment to unpack what counselling is NOT.
Jack
Great question. It's not someone who's going to solve things for you. I'm not here to tell you what to do, or what not to do, or to judge you on what you're doing. Right or wrong, we're a bunch of humans, you know, professional clinicians that can give strategies to help support your situation. It's not a miracle, although sometimes it can really feel like a miracle.
Patty
I agree with that. And with Carer Gateway it's not long term, is it?
Jack
It's not long term, no, but it's not nothing either.
Patty
Yeah, that's a great point. I mean, the Carer Gateway offers about 6 counselling sessions for carers. Perhaps you can share a little bit about how they're structured.
Jack
So the first contact we do is a call out to one of the carers to set up the first session and these sessions can be done over the phone, via video link, or in person. Sessions last about an hour and after the sixth session, Carer Gateway offers ongoing support, so you're not left in the lurch. There's coaching services, there's group counselling or peer support groups or activities as well, and you can access these six free sessions every 12 months.
So, the first couple, we sort of frame it up. It's a bit of a get to know you time. I hear a bit of your background, a bit of the story as to what brought you here. The middle sessions, we can really work on the nuts and bolts of what you're working through and where you'd like to feel more supported. And the last sessions we hope to finish well and close out in a way that sets up these future supports but also recognises this bit of a journey that we've been on.
Patty
You mentioned briefly that there are options for group counselling.
Jack
Yeah, it's useful to mention some more details on the group support that's offered. There's peer support sessions that people can get involved with, group workshops online and in person that can be specific to you, such as how to apply to the NDIS. There's caring for an elderly person, there's fun activities as well to get involved with like high tea, cooking classes, meditation sessions. And there's also group counselling as well, which is a little bit different to individual counselling.
Patty
What's the main difference?
Jack
I would say the group counselling is a focus on a specific issue, often educational mixed in with some opportunity to share your personal experiences. The individual counselling very much for you about you in a private confidential setting.
Patty
If I were a carer that had just been assigned to you and was perhaps feeling a little bit hesitant about the sessions maybe because this is new for me, or the previous counselling experience that I had elsewhere was not necessarily positive. What would you say to me?
Jack
Well, I hear this a bit, and the first thing is about getting to know each other and really, I think the first thing I would say is, where would you like to start? I mean, I've got my ideas which I can bring in as well. But I would say slowing things down, getting to know each other a bit, but also working out what you didn't like about your previous experience can really help. So, I'd guide my interaction with you in a way that can make this authentic as possible and as supportive as possible.
Patty
It's such a gentle but also a very matter of fact and practical way of addressing the elephant in the room.
Jack
Yeah, because often all it takes is to voice that, and then it's forgotten, which is a bit like emotions as well, you know. And voice them and then they can tend to lose their power.
Patty
Yeah, because it's acknowledged, and it's validated. I like that. OK, what else?
Jack
I would say it's very normal to be nervous as well. I mean, I feel nervous as others do about a first-time call to someone, being in touch, meeting someone; it does bring out nervousness. So again, I haven't met you before. I don't know you. So, this is really normal. It’s an opportunity to build trust to get to know each other as people. And to create a sort of healthy working alliance, sharing stories. The rest sort of happens quite naturally.
Patty
Yeah, this is important to note because as many carers won't necessarily chat to their loved ones about certain private matters like caring for a loved one because their friends might not necessarily have a similar lived experience, so I think it's really important to acknowledge that this is OK that you know, this is a conversation that you don't necessarily have with other people you might be sharing things that are quite private.
And I honour that and really take your confidentiality into serious consideration.
Jack
Yeah. And it also feels somewhat of a privilege to be the person that they haven't told this to anyone else. Yeah. So that's something that I don't hold lightly.
Patty
100%. Yeah, I personally want to chat to you about the fact that sometimes we might be matched with the worker, or in this case, a counsellor that we might not necessarily click with. What advice would you share with the carer that might find themselves in this situation?
Jack
Yeah, I think my advice would be to do what feels right for you and it's in the counselling space. Totally OK to change, to request to change counsellors. It's very normal and natural that the click doesn't always happen. It's really about finding the right way for you to voice this and that can be maybe an email, maybe it's a text message. Maybe it's directly with your counsellor. You know, requesting that, maybe I'd prefer someone else.
So I'd prefer maybe a female or a male counsellor. You can really be specific and we encourage that because it's a really good way of showing your needs are getting voiced and they're getting met. So, this is what we're working on in counselling.
Patty
So this is a space that a counsellor would hold, isn't it? Like if this isn’t this working for you? Do you feel comfortable with me? Is there something that we could do?
Jack
Yeah, absolutely. They're great questions. Yeah, because it can, really bring in that sense of identity and self that that carers often lack as they're putting others first. And so, we're really creating that space for their self-expression.
Patty
And I'm thinking it's a really healthy example of boundary setting.
Jack
It is indeed, yeah, one that can go forgotten for our carers, which is a really tough one.
Patty
Yes, Jack, do you reckon you could provide 2 or 3 different examples of how you've been able to help various carers with their counselling sessions at Care Gateway?
Jack
Yeah, and just for reference, names and identity have been changed for this as it is confidential but certainly one story, I spoke with a woman, Mary, she was caring for her mother and her mother moved into her house with her after a diagnosis, for treatment and for more support. This was going well for a while but put a lot of strain on the relationships that she described with her partner, her kids, the family dynamics, all changed.
Patty
It is a big thing, isn't?
Jack
It well, it was huge. I mean, obviously she was wanting the best for her mum, you know, trying to provide enough support and to do that for her. And she really did that. She did that for a few months, and her mother's health improved, and she could then move back to live independently. So, this transition happened.
And the the sticking point was that Mary realised she didn't want her mum to move back in. You know, if her health was to deteriorate again, it was not something that she could do again was to look after her in, in their home.
Patty
Is it only because of the impact that it had on her partner and children, or was there also an impact on Mary personally?
Jack
Yeah, I think what it brought out for her was quite a long history of her relationship with her mum, feeling under the microscope, feeling her judgements, and those little niggling comments. The real difficulty to be able to have a clear boundary.
Patty
That's right. And it's not so easy to be able to say, “hey, you're in my house now. You don't get to criticise or judge me, especially when I'm caring for you.”
It sounds simple if you and I say it, as we don't have the history. We don't have that emotional attachment. We don't have the boundaries that haven't been implemented yet. And when ruptures don't always get repaired, that's why they keep getting repeated.
Jack
Yeah. And I think what's important when implementing change or trying to do something different, such as putting a boundary in place with someone we've known and care for, is very difficult and getting enough support is important.
So that was what it was about for Mary, building enough support around her like people she can talk to openly as well as in counselling, to really just validate her own wishes for herself, which was, “I'm not a bad person if I don't invite her back into my home, I can still care for her”. It's not a question of that.
Patty
It'll just be in a different way.
Jack
Yes, it's in a different way, and that's totally OK.
Patty
So, it sounds like the counselling sessions were at a perfect time for her.
Jack
Yeah. And I think she was really open and receptive to expressing herself and to really work through some of these challenges that were going on. Some of the guilt that she'd had within was addressed.
Patty
That's amazing. I mean, it's a great example of a carer redefining their caring role, but for many, it's the first time that they've had been able to implement these kind of boundaries and changing the dynamics of a relationship that's related to a long history with the other person who's been cared for, and old behaviour patterns. It's not easy to do this on your own. We need to feel supported. To be able to take this next step or this next ‘up level’ with confidence.
Jack
Yeah. Another example that that comes to mind was a man, John, who's caring for his brother who had a disability, mobility issues and he came feeling very stressed, very angry, very resentful to his brother.
In his eyes, he wasn't doing anything to get better, or to make an effort to change. John was taking meals, cleaning the house, trying to encourage him to do something for himself, but this sort of left this really strong emotion that he wasn't sure what to do with, apart from step away, which he just didn't feel like was an option.
Patty
So, during your sessions together, what were the sort of things that you unpacked?
Jack
Well, firstly dealing with the big emotion because that was what was coming out straight up. So, we recognised them as relative to maybe burnout symptoms and that he was spending a lot of his energy focusing on what his brother wasn't doing. And that actually wasn't very healthy, and it wasn't really working out.
Patty
It was also outside his circle of control.
Jack
Yeah, that's right. And that was something that was able to help just realign how he was thinking about the caring role and really recognising well, what does a minute to himself look like and that his brother is probably not going to change, you know, and that he really can only control himself and his reactions.
Patty
That is a deep sense of acceptance and surrender.
Jack
Well, yeah, and I think what was so inspiring with John was that he was he would go away and then he would come back to the next session somewhat having reflected on what was discussed.
And even to the point where he's able to share with me that after the first session, he didn't want to come back to counselling. He felt like,” oh, I don't know if I can do this”, but he had the courage to, and he's really committed to that, and to the point where he was able to share that with me, til the end of our sessions.
Well, the conversation sort of naturally changed to being more about him and a little bit more about his other relationships in his life and how he is in those relationships.
Patty
Oh, that is fantastic.
Jack
Yeah, it was really lovely to be a part of that journey with him. And he was very grateful for the support and very receptive to it, which I think really helped. As I mentioned earlier, that working alliance seemed to be strong and would really help him through some, some quite serious things.
Patty
I think it's important to know that sometimes. I guess I want to say 2 things about that. How you do one thing is how you do most things. So, if there are certain behavioural aspects that you bring to your caring role, there's a high chance that you do the same to your personal or intimate relationships or even your work relationships. And the other thing as well is that once you're a carer and you make a slight edit in that relationship with the people that you care for, or the person that you care for, it has a ripple effect on your other relationship.
Jack
Yeah, absolutely it's, I mean, certainly for John, it was an ability to recognise his own emotion that he was bringing to his relationships with his, with his daughters, for example, this started to change. He was saying how he was more receptive to their ideas, more accepting of their ideas, able to take a bit of a step back in his work and not feel so emotionally involved.
It was quite lovely to witness because, yeah, these patterns, they tend to play out. They're not just isolated to the caring role, but they can really overflow into our life and also in the...
I'm not sure of the expression, but contrary to that, is when you start making these changes. They can really have a ripple effect in the opposite way as well.
Patty
So, this is not just counselling for the caring role, but also identifying support in other areas of your life, such as habits that might roll into personal relationships and family dynamics. Have you noticed a recurring or a common theme with carers and their boundaries or maybe lack thereof?
Jack
Yeah. Well, it's a great one to bring up because people in the caring role, they often have very caring hearts and put others needs first and that can be a lovely thing. But also, as one carer put it once to me, was “it’s as if I've got a sign above my head that says, ‘hey everyone, I'm a carer’, if you need help ask me”. And this, she said, just wore her out.
So, boundaries come from knowing when you can say “yes” and when you can say “no” to things and having a healthy capacity to do both or feeling balanced in that, and that's something we can unpack in counselling and work out. What is the idea of saying no, what does that bring up for you and why is that difficult and how can we work on that.
Patty
That, and it's not always so binary. It's not always a matter of “yes or no”. Sometimes it's a matter of, “yes, just not now”.
Jack
Absolutely, yeah. And a great way to rethink what that can mean.
Patty
Now, Jack, I know. We touched on this briefly a little earlier. But tell me a little bit more about how group counselling works.
Jack
Yeah. So, group counselling, there's lots of different ways that it can be done, how we've structured it here at Carer Gateway in Sydney is through psychoeducational groups.
Patty
What does that mean?
Jack
Specific educational topic that we work with in small groups up to 8 people. Carers receive some information about the topic and get an opportunity to share from their personal experience and listen to others that may have gone through similar things.
Patty
What are some of the topics?
Jack
Well, the first topic that we've run this year, is a topic on burnout and self care. So yeah, burnout and it's antidote self-care. Carers walk away from the group with getting to know a few other people, listening to their other stories, they have an opportunity to share. But also, we work on a personalised self-care plan as well and they go away with new information learned about it.
Patty
That sounds sensational. You speak a lot about the importance of self-care for your clients as a counsellor. Let me put you on the spot, Jack. Do you ever get burnt out?
Jack
I do. I do feel it. I think it's a while since I've felt fully burnt out, but I certainly feel a lack of boundaries leads to my burnout.
Patty
I can understand that. What do you do to ensure that you recognise the symptom before burnout? I mean, how do you manage your self care?
Jack
Well, I'm getting better. I feel I'm no expert, but I become aware of simple things that start feeling difficult in my normal day to day, and then I put things off that I can usually cope with.
Patty
Because your capacity is diminished?
Jack
I guess so. I’m sort of in it and I'm doing it so it's a it's a tricky 1 to sort of step out and look at my myself, but that's part of this exercise in counselling somewhat. I also tend to stay up later. I stop calling friends back or responding to messages.
Patty
What are your top three ways to recharge your batteries instead of burning them.
Jack
Umm for me it's getting outside. Whether that's just opening a window and putting my head out or actually going for a walk, feeling the fresh air. Maybe it's playing with the dogs or getting into the garden. That's probably number one.
Second one I would say getting enough rest or trying to be aware of when I feel tired and avoiding letting the next episode button on Netflix suck me into another, “just one more”.
And probably the third thing is really talking to a friend. I find that's something that I probably don't do often enough, but always feel better once I've given them a call.
Patty
They're great points. Do you have any tips for carers who want to book in a counselling session but might feel a little reluctant to do so?
Jack
I would say just being honest with yourself is really a good thing just to check in. You know, do I need to talk to someone about this? Or how much longer can I keep going as this is going? What do I have to lose or gain from reaching out?
I think also just knowing where and how to reach out as well. So that's a big step. And I always tell people that have come through to me as they've really already started this process of looking after themselves because they've come this far and that's important to acknowledge.
Patty
Yeah, I'm really glad that you said that Jack, I feel like I have absolutely no choice but to reward you with some rapid fire wrap up questions.
Jack
Right!
Patty
OK, what's the biggest learning experience that you ever had?
Jack
I would say hitchhiking through South America for me was the biggest of the lot.
Patty
Would you do it now?
Jack
I couldn't. I'm engaged in parenting and that's definitely taking over as the biggest learning experience.
Patty
What's 1 advice that you wish that you could give up?
Jack
I would say being stuck in my head over thinking. Yeah, that's something that I have as advice that I think is not necessarily helpful all the time.
Patty
Do you get analysis paralysis?
Jack
No, but maybe, and I'm not even aware of it. Hmm.
Patty
Yeah, that's interesting. What's the one thing that people don't know about you necessarily?
Jack
OK, I've got an embarrassing thing to share, but I feel like when I when I feel sad, I like to go for a walk and pick flowers.
Patty
That's not embarrassing, that's beautiful. So that just speaks to your connection to nature. And then your desire to actually, you know, share those flowers. That's beautiful.
Jack
Yeah, it's a real way of slowing down, I think, yeah.
Patty
Yeah, being very mindful and very present. I love it. That's not embarrassing. Alright, window or aisle seat, go!
Jack
Aisle seat. Definitely for the for the long flights.
Patty
Yeah. Is this a toilet thing or a just need to get up?
Jack
Yeah, it's a get up and move when I want to and I think I come from bad experiences of snoring or stuck in the corner kind of feeling.
Patty
What's one thing you had to learn the hard way?
Jack
I think being nice to myself, that's something that's ongoing, but that has been a hard one for sure.
Patty
This is powerful for the rest of us to hear, because you're so kind and you're so generous. So, to know that you have to remind yourself to be like that to yourself is good for the rest of us to hear.
Jack
Yeah. Thanks Patty.
Patty
Jack you have been wonderful. Thank you for being here today.
Jack
You're very welcome. Thanks for having me. It's been great.
Patty
That is all we have time for today folks. And while I know that formal counselling sessions aren’t necessarily for everyone, the Carer Gateway has many peer support programs that cater to your needs and your specific caring role.
They are designed to help you feel comfortable to open up to other carers, and then of course the counselling and the coaching services, are for specific induvial supports – whenever you feel ready to take them.
If there’s someone you know that was curious about these counseling sessions, we’d love it if you shared this interview with them.
If this chat with Jack was helpful for you, please like and subscribe to our podcast, but if you really want to help us ensure we get to the right listeners who need to hear our episodes most, leaving us a 5 star review ensures that podcast algorithm a helping hand.
Until we meet again, take good care of yourself.
Billy:
If you are caring for a relative or a friend who has a disability, a mental health condition, a life limiting health or medical condition.
Or they are frail because they're getting older. Please contact us at Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737, or look us up on www.carergateway.gov.au
And if you are a carer, you're allowed to take time to look after yourself. You are just as important as the person you take care of.